The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good character study, I like the little details like his amusement at the upside-down chairs.

There are some minor things to fix: a POV switch once Jess is introduced, some paragraphing of dialog, the introduction of a character who is never referred to again. Nothing earth-shaking.

I was curious about the name Irfan, so I looked it up: it means knowledge How appropriate!
I liked the passage: "It’s not a religion but a relationship." So true.
I loved your word pictures. Very descriptive. I liked how you shared the picture of God from your unbelieving characters point of view and I loved the reason given for the tatoo. Well done. I'll look for more of your entries!