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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Weary (05/03/12)

TITLE: old dogs
By Jim McWhinnie
05/09/12
~1st Place


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old dogs chase rabbits in their dreams
as they snooze in comfy chairs
as autumn sunlight falls in through dusty windows,
but i sense the rabbits always reach their warrens,
uncaught, ready to be chased once more
in the coming day.

old dogs rest their weary heads
on the brown corduroy knees of old, old men
who remember hunting days
when partridges and pheasant hid within the grassy fields,
more cagey than afraid
of the wandering souls of dogs and men,
when the cooling air was filled with savory smoke
rising from leaf pile fires, here and there,
three hours spent, three hours shared,
both realizing that once again they did come to know
the callow joy of going out
and the mellow peace of coming home.

old dogs sigh a lot,
for reasons i do not know,
maybe aching bones,
or yearning for years gone by,
or maybe it is merely the song of growing old.
puppies yelp in their frolic,
dogs in their prime, howl and bark,
so it would make sense
that old dogs, they simply sigh,
for lazy days, they will come to be,
in the slowing of our time,
in the waiting for good-bye.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/10/12
Simply beautiful--may favorite line: the mellow peace of coming home.
Sarah Heywood05/10/12
This is great (and I'm not a big poetry fan)! Thoroughly enjoyed your poem, especially the last line, "waiting for good-bye." Wonderful writing!
Cheryl von Drehle 05/11/12
makes me almost want to get a dog ... almost...
CD Swanson 05/11/12
Being an avid animal lover, I truly enjoyed this clever poem. It made me smile, and the last part...waiting to say "goodbye" made my eyes glisten. That is the worst part...saying goodbye.

Excellent job. God bless~
Ellen Carr 05/11/12
A lovely poem. Your descriptive wording is beautiful. Well done!
Glynis Becker 05/13/12
Beautiful and descriptive. Great word choices and the flow was beautiful. Loved it.
Graham Insley 05/15/12
"They simply sigh..."

Beautiful. I've got too much to learn about this sort of poetry to offer an honest critique. And to be honest, I normally find this sort of verse very hard to read; but this was easy and flowed really well. So I'm presuming it is well constructed and follows whatever the rules are.

Great job and thanks for throwing the brick; I might of missed it otherwise.
lynn gipson 05/16/12
rest their weary heads on cordroy knees of old men...I can see that so vividly...you painted a beautiful picture through every line....loved it!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/17/12
Ahh this really touched my heart. I love how fresh and clever it is. You described the topic masterfully!
Hiram Claudio05/17/12
Congratulations on the 1st place finish for both your level and the EC!
Benjamin Graber05/17/12
I love this! Congratulations, Jim!
Amanda Brogan05/17/12
Awesome! This was a clever take on "weary."

Congrats on your big win!
Jody Day 05/17/12
This piece is beautiful. Lovely words woven into the perfect offering for this topic. Wonderful job! And congratulations on your 1st place win!
CD Swanson 05/17/12
Congratulations. God bless~
Donna Wilcher 05/17/12
Congratulations!
Sherry Castelluccio 05/17/12
Congrats on your win! This is an extraordinary piece and so well done.
Michael Throne05/18/12
Jim - another great poem and a well deserved win. Congratulations! This is one of your best.
marcella franseen 05/18/12
I wanted to wrap myself up in this poem like a warm blanket. There is a nostalgia to it, a comfort. Quite lovely!
Catrina Bradley 05/18/12
Love it. I feel like curling up with this poem, laying my head on a worn corduroy knee, and resting. Congratulations, Jim - well deserved win on this one. Sigh.
Amy Michelle Wiley 05/21/12
Awww, lovely!
Connie K Cameron05/31/12
Wow, that is so good, I loved reading it.