The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/24/19
Wonderful story! How much of a witness we can be by leaving a stray book or pamphlet on an end table in the guestroom? I have done this many times...you never know how God will change a person's life using a few words on a page. Great job!
01/25/19
I have enjoyed how you link the concepts within "Hinds' Feet..." with a clear demonstration of practical and sensitive ministry - despite your MC's self-doubts about her effectiveness. I think I detect a winner here...
I liked your take on this story. While I've read a few articles this week that referred to Hinds' Feet, I think you did a nice job of making it your own. I noticed you had some POV shifts (jumping into Jade's and her husband's heads). One way to avoid that is to use body language and dialog. For example instead of saying she hungered, you could show it by describing a look in her eye, something she said, or even a thought of your own. For example <i>That faraway look in her eyes, it makes me shiver. I can almost feel her longing whenever she jumps at the sound of the phone ringing or holds her breath when someone knocks on the door. </i>
Some POVs can be omniscient, but rarely would you see that in a first-person voice.
You do have a lot of great things in this piece too. The beginning pulled me in right away. The MC's inner conflict kept me reading and added suspense. I think your message is clear and perfect for the world today. Great job.
I've always enjoyed that book, and I enjoyed the way you used it with your story!
Congratulations on ranking 12 overall. Happy Dance!