The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/03/15
Great message in this well written introspective piece.

God bless~
What a great take on the topic. Someone asked me if explaining why they couldn't go on vacation was on topic. I debated a bit, but it didn't seem to fit. You, however, did a brilliant job of it. I think so many people will be able to relate to your MC.

As for red ink, I don't have much other than to perhaps suggest you check the semicolons. They should be used to connect two independent phrases, and sometimes it's used when listing a series when the items in the series also use commas and could confuse the reader. The other thing (and I only picked up on it because I just did research on it) is breed names like poodle are only capped when there is a proper noun in the name. Experts disagree about both words like in German Shepherd.

I so enjoyed your ending. It made me chuckle. I kept thinking what's the other thing. You have a great sense of humor too. It's subtle, but such a delight. I loved my mental picture of age knocking on the door. I've moved heavy objects in front of my door and put my fingers in my ears to block out the rapping. Seriously, though, it's an excellent lesson. I know I spend way too much time in the past, lamenting the what-ifs. As humans, we spend a lot of time wishing our lives away. As you so creatively pointed out, God has plans for my today, and that's what I need to focus on.
08/06/15
Congratulations!

God bless~
Congratulations! Happy Dance!
08/06/15
Congratulations on your EC win. I enjoyed your story.
08/06/15
Congrats on your EC, for you've brought us into your world - real and imagined - in a warm, non-intrusive way. And that twist in the close was a real zinger.
08/08/15
Congratulations on your EC, Linda. Your take on the topic was very creative and I really enjoyed it. It dealt subtly and well with some of the issues of getting older, and also the joy our imaginations can bring to us. Great writing!
08/09/15
Clever girl! Diplomatically composed piece on our common condition of aging.