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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ENVY (jealousy of another’s advantage) (02/12/15)
You just found out that you’re going to be a grandmother. You should be happy, but instead your stomach bubbles up as you look across the room and see your competition–the other grandmother. Suddenly you realize that you have this burning desire to be The Favorite, the one who Little Precious greets with squeals and bombards you with questions. “Can I have more candy, Grandma? What did you bring me, Grandma? Will you buy me a puppy Grandma?”

In order to become The Favorite, you must follow a few simple rules. It’s never too early to start buying Little Precious’s love. After all, you’re up against some stiff competition, right? Other Grandma lives right next door. It was bad enough when her son came and yanked your baby out of your gripping embrace, but then, he had to move her all the way across town–closer to his parents.

Other Grandma gets to see Little Precious practically every day. It’s just not fair! Before you know it, that festering wound that was eating away at your heart begins to heal when Little Precious hugs you with sticky hands and a snotty nose. She bats her little eyelashes at you, and you realize this is your second chance. After all, you aren’t getting any younger, right?

It’s time to step up your game–and win. Don’t stop at anything to be The Favorite. After all, no one cared when you cried yourself to sleep every night when your baby left home, right?

You can never buy too many presents. You’re a grandmother; you’re old. Who cares if you really can’t afford to buy that super-deluxe-play-set? If Little Precious wants it, you give it to her. After all, then she’ll love you forever, right?

Since you live all the way across town, you have to grab every opportunity to bond with Little Precious. Mom and Dad need a break anyhow and are delighted to let you babysit. Remember times have changed. In today’s world, The Favorite never utters the word, “No.” After all, if Little Precious is happy, then you’re happy, right?

You don’t care if she takes a permanent marker and draws all over your brand-new white-leather sofa. Consider it artwork. Bring your friends in and show them how brilliant Little Precious is. Not every baby can shimmy up the side of the refrigerator, crawl across the cupboards, and find those markers you lost five years ago. Yes, that takes talent. After all, you can bet Other Grandma doesn’t let her crawl across the counters.

Because you have limited time with Little Precious, disregard her schedule. She’s there to have fun; she can sleep when she goes to Other Grandma’s. She may get a little cranky, but she’s easy to entertain. Crawl around on all fours, giving horsey rides while whinnying your lungs out. If there is anything that makes Little Precious giggle it’s seeing Favorite Grandma traipse around and obey all of Little Precious’s commands. After all, you can rest later when Little Precious goes home, right?

Mom and Dad may've asked you not to give Little Precious sweets. Totally disregard their wishes. After all, a little candy never hurt anyone, right? It is crucial to time the candy preciously. You want to make sure her sugar high and subsequent crash doesn’t happen on your watch. After all, all is fair in love and grandparenting, right?

Right after you bundle Little Precious up for the trek across town, pull out the pièce-de-résistance–a noisy toy. Wait until she is buckled in her carseat before presenting it to her. The more obnoxious it is, the more she’ll love it. After all, you want her to go home happy, right?

The more fun she has at your house, the more she’ll tease Mom to bring her over again. After all, you only get to see her once a week so you need to make that day really count, right?

If you follow these simple instructions, you’ll be the bee’s knees. It’s only fair to warn you, however, that eventually Little Precious will be the one who pays. Her tummy might hurt after eating so much candy and her parents might be grumpy after having their eardrums ruptured by the noisy toy, but you’ll have won. You’ll be The Favorite. After all, your happiness is the only thing that really matters…right?
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This article has been read 1841 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Noel Mitaxa 
02/20/15
I like your lighter, self-deprecating touch on the denial that seizes grandparents with constant justification. A good fun read.
C D Swanson 
02/20/15
Excellent work!

Well done...

God bless~
Milly Born
02/20/15
How courageous to write from the second person point of view! It worked out really well.

I never even thought about envy between grandmothers, but after reading your article...wow, I guess I'll need some grace in the future :)
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
02/20/15
We are not blessed with grandbabies, but this is totally identifiable! I had Grams that were in similar situations. We practically lived at our Hungarian/Czech gram who offered unbeatable chicken paprikash, The Lone Ranger with Vernor's Ginger Ale, and endless relentless Bingo games. Our other Gram always brought "untouchable" gifts such as Storybook Dolls - our Mom was adamant about the not Mom's mom did work at a bakery, and boy, did she make terrific potato pancakes! Sigh. I miss them both muchly . . .

David Butler
02/21/15
Brilliant use of irony. Good lessons presented with humour and insight.
As a Granddad, I may not experience a grandma's jealousy, but I think I'm feeling writer's envy. :-D
Danielle King 
02/21/15
Oh yes - you are back with a bang and a snotty snout. How wonderful! No-one appreciates bodily fluids like we do.

I love this tale for its originality and the unusual view point. I'm never likely to become a grandmother, but if there was a miracle, and presuming I survived the shock, then I would definitely be the type you portrayed so very well... And without conscience. Who needs it - I love babies!

That said, I love the way you depicted the overseen Gran all the way through, and in the irony of your final paragraph brought her selfishness to light. I hang my head in shame.

Great piece for the topic. Hope it does well. Bob in again soon.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
02/21/15
Such tender advice! ;) You have a gift for irony. I really enjoyed this. (Admit here at wanting to be the favorite---but not going to that far!)
Diane M. Bowman
02/22/15
Haha! This sounds very similar to how to be the favorite aunt.

Wonderful writing.

Penny Neimiller 
02/23/15
It is hard not to be "too giving" when it comes to our Grandchildren. Every Christmas, Easter and Birthday I feel myself apologizing to God and ask Him to help me bring our buying under control.
Pertaining to your article, I am watching how to use punctuation, hyphens, Capital letters and quotation marks as I read. Something I didn't take serious in school. I would of never thought of capitalizing the "PreciousOne" and "Favorite" one... so now I need to study how to use that better and why. I have been doing it incorrectly. Also, I recognized that I never used the word "traipse" because I didn't know how to spell it! I have much too much to learn to correct anything, although you asked me too. Sorry. Hope as time goes on I can mutually help you in that area.
Just a note: My kids have a "favorite" Aunt... Every kid should have one! She was wonderful even if I dreaded the toys that she sent them home with. I got her back a few times when she had "Adam." lol
PamFord Davis 
02/24/15
As Granny Pam I find this delightful. The 'bees-knees' is a great attention grabber!

Wing His Words
PamFord Davis 
02/26/15
Congratulations!

Wing His Words
lynn gipson 
02/26/15
Woweeee! I'm sorry I didn't catch this story! Congratulations on your placing for a well-deserved win! Soooo happy for you!

Happy Day and Happy Dance!
C D Swanson 
02/26/15
Congrats Shann!

I'm so happy for you. Excellent work my friend, so so thrilled for your well deserved EC and recognition.

God BLess~
Danielle King 
02/26/15
Whoopeeee! I am so happy for you. Of course we both know it was the nose-juice wot did it! It's our little secret though, else they'll all be at it. Congratulations on a very well deserved win. Happy hop!
Noel Mitaxa 
02/26/15
Well done, Shann. Terrific work and your recognition is so well-deserved. It's only fair that you should be on the receiving end of praise when you serve up so much to the rest of us - week after week.
God bless you.
Ellen Carr 
02/26/15
Congratulations, Shann. I just loved this! It was so clever and amusing, getting across its message with great humour. Definitely a deserving winner!
Francy Judge 
02/27/15
I enjoyed this from beginning to end. Your point of view was perfect for this story and added to the humor. I want my parents to read this. Although now that my kids are mostly teens, they are happy to be the grandparents that get to wave goodbye after a visit and restore peace to their home. My mother-in-law who shares her home with all seven of us looks forward to the other grandparents getting a turn! Congratulations!
Dannie Hawley 
02/27/15
Wow, your entry really put the spotlight on an issue in many grandmas hearts that even they may not have considered. Since one of my grandmas was in Australia and the other in Montana, this was never an issue for my own mum, but I can easily see how it could be in the circumstances you've described here. A great ending to the wrenching of the Favorite's heart. Congrats on a well-deserved win! (Nothing like the perfect timing of the Lord to reinforce what your friends try to tell you, eh? It's great to see you set aside your editing pen to produce another winner for us to read.)
Pauline Carruthers
02/27/15
Congratulations. I so enjoyed the humour in this. Well deserved placing.
Charla Diehl
02/27/15
Congratulation on taking a win with this fun lesson-giving entry. In light of the many comments, you must have struck a chord with lot of readers. You nailed the topic!
Allison Egley 
02/28/15
Yay Shann! This is great. So cute. Congrats on your well deserved EC!
Loni Bowden-Horn 
03/02/15
Congratulations on your 3rd place finish in the Editor's choice. I have always looked forward to your encouraging words and examples of ways to improve. Even though I have never been a grandmother,I could easily identify with this story from an aunt's prospective. Time for the happy dance.
Lillian Rhoades 
03/02/15
So many well deserved comments, Shann. Now it's my time to do a Happy Dance. Great writing and cleverly executed. Congratulations!
Holly Westefeld
03/06/15
Your light tone eases the barbs of truth that may hit a little close to home as a grandma of 5, whose other grandmas have had some different opportunities than we have had to spend time with them.
Thank you for all of your encouragement to the writers here, and specifically for your most kind comments on "Your Fountain."
Betsy Markman
03/19/15
OUCH!

I'm not a grandma yet, but I know who I don't want to be like!

I've never understood why people wise enough to turn their noses up at spoiled food would go out of their way to make a spoiled child!

A good "reverse psychology" warning here!
Ruth Walker
03/02/16
Whoever wrote about THAT before!
I quake to predict my fatal failure in The Favourite stakes when my son and his wife have their first; The Other is unbeatable! But thankfully, also my best friend :)
It was beautiful.