Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ENVY (jealousy of another’s advantage) (02/12/15)
- TITLE: The Favorite
By Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
In order to become The Favorite, you must follow a few simple rules. It’s never too early to start buying Little Precious’s love. After all, you’re up against some stiff competition, right? Other Grandma lives right next door. It was bad enough when her son came and yanked your baby out of your gripping embrace, but then, he had to move her all the way across town–closer to his parents.
Other Grandma gets to see Little Precious practically every day. It’s just not fair! Before you know it, that festering wound that was eating away at your heart begins to heal when Little Precious hugs you with sticky hands and a snotty nose. She bats her little eyelashes at you, and you realize this is your second chance. After all, you aren’t getting any younger, right?
It’s time to step up your game–and win. Don’t stop at anything to be The Favorite. After all, no one cared when you cried yourself to sleep every night when your baby left home, right?
You can never buy too many presents. You’re a grandmother; you’re old. Who cares if you really can’t afford to buy that super-deluxe-play-set? If Little Precious wants it, you give it to her. After all, then she’ll love you forever, right?
Since you live all the way across town, you have to grab every opportunity to bond with Little Precious. Mom and Dad need a break anyhow and are delighted to let you babysit. Remember times have changed. In today’s world, The Favorite never utters the word, “No.” After all, if Little Precious is happy, then you’re happy, right?
You don’t care if she takes a permanent marker and draws all over your brand-new white-leather sofa. Consider it artwork. Bring your friends in and show them how brilliant Little Precious is. Not every baby can shimmy up the side of the refrigerator, crawl across the cupboards, and find those markers you lost five years ago. Yes, that takes talent. After all, you can bet Other Grandma doesn’t let her crawl across the counters.
Because you have limited time with Little Precious, disregard her schedule. She’s there to have fun; she can sleep when she goes to Other Grandma’s. She may get a little cranky, but she’s easy to entertain. Crawl around on all fours, giving horsey rides while whinnying your lungs out. If there is anything that makes Little Precious giggle it’s seeing Favorite Grandma traipse around and obey all of Little Precious’s commands. After all, you can rest later when Little Precious goes home, right?
Mom and Dad may've asked you not to give Little Precious sweets. Totally disregard their wishes. After all, a little candy never hurt anyone, right? It is crucial to time the candy preciously. You want to make sure her sugar high and subsequent crash doesn’t happen on your watch. After all, all is fair in love and grandparenting, right?
Right after you bundle Little Precious up for the trek across town, pull out the pièce-de-résistance–a noisy toy. Wait until she is buckled in her carseat before presenting it to her. The more obnoxious it is, the more she’ll love it. After all, you want her to go home happy, right?
The more fun she has at your house, the more she’ll tease Mom to bring her over again. After all, you only get to see her once a week so you need to make that day really count, right?
If you follow these simple instructions, you’ll be the bee’s knees. It’s only fair to warn you, however, that eventually Little Precious will be the one who pays. Her tummy might hurt after eating so much candy and her parents might be grumpy after having their eardrums ruptured by the noisy toy, but you’ll have won. You’ll be The Favorite. After all, your happiness is the only thing that really matters…right?
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