The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/22/14
Moving intense drama that pulls in the reader and tugs at the heartstrings as the MC does the introspective internal dialogue

Thank you for sharing this piece of your life, it couldn't have been easy putting this down on paper, let alone feeling the full impact of the reality in which was presented.

Well written piece of writing.


God Bless~
Your opening line is one of the best I've ever read. It intrigued me immediately and I found myself being entwined in this stunning story.

I noticed a few punctuation things that would help the flow a bit. They're tiny things like a missing hyphen in forty-two and missing commas, especially after introductory phrases like in the following:Later in the day, one of the daughters I already know visits with her three kids.
Also in that line it could be slightly confusing. By adding the word me after visiting, it shows that she is visiting with the MC, not her kids. (I knew that regardless, but I could see some wondering.)

You did an outstanding job of nailing the topic. This is a perfect example of not using the topic words, yet still having the topic immersed throughout the entire story. When I realized this was a true story, it Jersey on my heartstrings even more. You also did a superb job of showing how Jesus knows and loves his children without being preachy or condescending. This is an awesome story, and I suspect you'll score quite high in each judging criteria.
08/23/14
Thanks for sharing your story. I was wondering where your entries were. Now I know. What can I say? Your writing is superb and you caught the emotion well.I agree with the comment above that indeed your opening is excellent. I could see myself standing there in front of the mirror after a night full of battles. The thought about the lost children of Jesus is quite beautiful and is full of hope.
The whole episiode is actually quite a good set up for a bigger story.In any case it was well written and it touched my heart. Well done.
08/23/14
I can't tell you what your story means to me. Not the situation, per se, but the courage you always display in writing about your life. I have been thru childhood trauma that I have never shared with a soul, except my wife, and she has only heard a part of it.

I try to make myself write about it, but I just can't. I know it would be compelling stuff, and I know others could benefit from it, but I just can't. Your ability to open up about what happens in your life, good, bad and ugly gives me hope that one day I'll be able to do the same.

Thanks for sharing this week.
08/23/14
This entry is absolutely riveting. Your opening paragraph was a real hook and the story unfolded at just the right pace. I was captivated from beginning to end and although this is probably a personal experience, I would love to read the sequel sometime. This is definitely a winner this week. Great job!
08/23/14
Powerful and gripping throughout - all the more for knowing that it's no soap opera but absolutely true. And despite it coming out of your heart, you have expressed it all so skilfully without emotions clouding the flow of your heartache. We'll be praying that you know God's peace, provision and wisdom; and that he will anoint your family with his grace.
08/23/14
Sharing such personal information is very generous of you. I'm sure there are many who will benefit from your story.

You captured me with your opening line and it was compelling all the way through.

Well done.
Wonderful opening to a powerful story.

Yes, she still needs a father.

I hope sometime we will get to learn a little more about what happens next. Praying for wisdom for you.
08/24/14
Whoa-spactacular timing for this true life topic storyline.

Praying this is the beginning of a blessed adventure for everyone involved.

Perhaps an update in some future true life topic scenario!
Beautiful work. I'm reading and learning. Thank you for this one. Great!
Congratulations my friend! My throat is getting sore and my head dizzy, but I have another squeal of delight for you. Eeeeeeee eeeeeeee! Happy Dance! Congratulations!
08/28/14
Congratulations Graham!

This was so powerful.

God bless~
08/28/14
Congratulations Graham. I hope all turns out well for you. God Bless.