Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Pros and Cons (08/14/14)
TITLE: Bringing the Lost Children Home
By Graham Insley
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Are those my eyes? Man, you look awful.
I think back to the email I received six days ago. It was a simple email, but one that changed my life forever. It read: "There is no easy way to say this, and I don't want to upset you, but I have been told that you are my biological father."
Is my world toppling down or is my world, and family, expanding? Good question -- but one being raised over a woman who is forty two years old. That's a long while to not know that I had a daughter. Not only a daughter, but three grandchildren and four great grandchildren.
But hang on... how do I know if it is true? And do I even want to know if it is true or not? Will this bring joy into my life or start a landslide of consequences that will ruin my nice garden? Weighing up each side of the argument becomes a complex nightmare as logic parries emotion, risk wrestles with chance and excitement is countered by fear.
No wonder the questions that run around my head keep me awake night after night.
Later in the day one of the daughters I already know visits with her three kids. The youngest runs and hugs me. The middle one smiles, saunters up, leans her head on my shoulders and says some magic words, "Hello, granddad." The eldest grins and gives me a high five. Can the unknown relationship ever measure up to this? Or worse... can it in some way put this in danger?
If this is my daughter, a baby that has grown into a beautiful person with babies of her own, of course I want to know her. But how do I deal with the lost years? How do I get over the lies that have stolen this wonder from my life? I know it is important that I do not give into a smoldering anger, or even a minor resentment, towards those who have kept this secret from me. Wouldn't that be destructive to the relationship we can now form? But then again, can we ever form a close relationship with forty two years of blackness, of not knowing, between us?
Three cups of coffee later, as I try to work but fail, I realize that it isn't only my nights being invaded with uncertainty. Yet another issue springs up amongst the forest of issues -- abuse.
An anaconda of insecurity tightens its grip around my brain. Having been abused it has taken me years to come to peace with myself. Now I feel abused all over again. Will this new thing, rising from my past, come in as an angel on the wings of God and bring countless blessings? Or will it bring a battle with the demons of yesteryear?
Can I cope with this? Can I be the father that this woman needs? Does she even need a father at forty two? And yet she sought me out -- looking for answers. What are the pains that can come out of this? But what are the benefits?
Father, is this Your timing? Forty two years are lost, Lord. Can You protect me and my family from the hurts that can come out of this? Will there even be hurts? Or is this Your way of bringing new and wonderful blessings into my life?
Then I hear God's answer. "I know who My lost children are, and I've called all of them to come home."
In awe I reach for the phone.
"Family Medical Centre."
"I'd like to make an appointment for a DNA test."
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