Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write for the HUMOR Genre (10/09/14)
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TITLE: Cordelia's Baby | Previous Challenge Entry
By Milly Born
10/16/14 -
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She had almost missed the delivery date, but as she gazed upon the superior beauty of her baby, even the exhausting labor seemed but a distant memory.
As soon as she had shown her baby to the world, all dressed up and adorned with gems and pearls, presents came in, each neatly wrapped in a colored box. She craved more, so she threw a party and was showered with additional gifts, each more encouraging than the other. Compliments like touching, sweet, beautiful, wonderful, and great made her swell with pride.
For an entire week, she had been soaring high above cloud nine; surely, her baby was the most awesome creature in the universe. Could life get any better?
When she arrived at the contest venue, her jealous eyes began studying each of the other babies, comparing, criticizing. Okay, she must admit—some of them were pretty too, but surely hers had a good chance of winning this beauty contest, or at the very least, receive the second or third prize.
Finally, it was her turn to present her precious. She strode into the jury room and laid her baby tenderly on the table. The judges scrutinized and scribbled in their notepads. As they compared their ratings, they exchanged meaningful glances. She felt the blood rush to her head as she tried to decipher their facial expressions.
The reverent silence was cruelly interrupted by a snicker. She cringed.
"Sorry about that, Mrs..." The chairman peered at her over the rim of his glasses.
"Crawford, sir—Cordelia Crawford."
"Yes, Mrs Crawford." He rummaged through the papers in front of him and cleared his throat. "We appreciate your submission to this contest."
"You're welcome, sir," but something in his tone made her expectations falter.
"Let's not beat around the bush. This is junk."
A stab straight to her maternal heart. "Sir?"
"First of all, we can hardly see the kid for the accessories. You could have done without the bling-bling." He removed the multiple bracelets, necklaces, and earrings and tossed them on the table. "And why does the poor thing need not one but...two...three…four pairs of socks?" The hand-knitted garments followed the jewelry. "Cut the clutter, Mrs. Crawford."
She lowered her gaze.
"What's this?" He held up a sheet of paper, covered with her elegant handwriting.
Sweat trickled down her spine. "It's a description of the extraordinary beauty of my baby, sir. I thought—"
"Don't. Don't tell us.” He pointed a finger at her. “You don't want us to fall asleep while looking at your little one, do you?”
She swallowed and shook her head.
“Then show us the beauty, please. Fascinate us, captivate our minds." Her eyes stared in disbelief as he crumpled the paper into a ball.
"And then these—" He ripped five stickers off of the baby. "For crying out loud, Mrs Crawford, give us some credit. We can recognize a nose when we see one. Or an ear. You don't need to label them." The other judges mumbled in agreement.
Defeated, she hung her head. "I see, sir. I'll try better next time." No winner. No second or third prize. Not even an honorable mention.
She got ready to leave, but the judge's voice stopped her. "Mrs Crawford! Your balloon, please."
Humiliation pierced her soul as he stuck a needle in the puffed-up latex.
As if things weren’t bad enough, his hand beckoned for her bulging bag, which still hung from her now drooping shoulder. Reluctantly, she handed it to him.
The huge hammer hit the bag time after time—shattering her dignity into pieces.
"Here you are," the man said and handed the devastated items back to her.
Dragging her deflated ego and crushed pride behind her, Cordelia was heading for the exit, when she heard, "What about your baby, Mrs Crawford?"
Oh, yes. Her baby. She picked up her pathetic, stripped excuse for a child.
The judge added, "At the core, it's a great kid, worth showing to the world. Just watch your presentation."
“Sure.” Totally discouraged, she trudged to the door.
"And...Mrs. Crawford?"
She turned around. "Sir?"
He smiled. "We're looking forward to your next submission to the Writing Challenge."
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It's almost as hard as letting your first published book go out into the world - very much like having your "baby" grow up and make a life of its own.
God bless~
I kept wondering all through the piece, "this has got to mean something...what does it mean?" And then your last line hit me.
And it made me laugh too! That was great.
Congratulations!
God bless~
God Bless,
Francie
Congratulations!
KJV 1 Timothy 3:16
"And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory."