Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write for the HUMOR Genre (10/09/14)
TITLE: Under Pressure
By JK Stenger
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He wanted to say more, but he knew he would hurt Emily so he stopped himself, just in time.
How could she be so stupid?
I--I’m really sorry.” Emily looked as if she was about to cry. “When I was scrubbing a pan, it slid into the water.”
Unbelievable. Joaquim groaned inwardly.
“Where is it?”
Emily held up the dripping gadget.
“We’ve got to dry it right away,” Joaquim cried as he snatched the smartphone. “Get the hair dryer.”
Emily hesitated. “The hair dryer’s too hot. It’ll fry the phone.”
“Oh, God, save my smartphone.” Joaquim looked up to the heavens, while he was breathing heavily. Although he wasn’t very religious, calling out to God in desperate times, seemed like a smart thing to do. He yanked a dishtowel from the rack and started rubbing the phone.
“Call Bernard, Emily! He works for Apple. He’ll know what to do.”
“What’s his number?”
“It’s in my smartphone. Quick, get it! Do I have to do everything myself?”
But Emily didn’t move.
“Why don’t we google what to do?” she suggested.
Joaquim ran to his MacbookPro and googled “Wet Smartphone.”
“There…” He smiled nervously.
“What does it say?”
“Quiet!” While he read, Joaquim kept waving his smartphone around, hoping to dry it out.
“It says to dry the phone immediately…but not to use a hair dryer.”
“How does it say to dry it?” asked Emily.
“It says ‘Put your smartphone in a pot of uncooked rice for 24 hours. Rice sucks up the water.’”
“We don’t have any rice.”
Joaquim read on.
“Cat litter!” Joaquim raised his arms in victory, nearly crashing his smartphone on the table lamp.
Emily looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“We’ve got to stick the phone in cat litter for 24 hours. It sucks up the moisture. Emi, get the bag of Swheat Scoop.”
Seconds later, Emily returned with the Swheat Scoop.
“Get a pan Emi!”
Emily grabbed the nearest pan, which happened to be the new pressure cooker.
Joaquim ripped the bag open, dumped the litter into the pan, and pushed his smartphone in the litter.
“Done. Now we’ll have to wait.” He wiped the sweat from his forehead.
“Shall I make some coffee, Joaquim? You deserve it.”
“Thanks, Emi. Sorry I got cross. But thankfully, I knew what to do. Can I have a cookie with my coffee?”
“I’ll give you two cookies.”
They were watching their favorite soap, and Joaquim had just started on his fifth cookie, when they heard the cat in the kitchen.
“Boaz!” Joaquim shouted and ran to the kitchen.
Joaquim said a naughty word and Emily prayed.
But it was too late. Boaz was sitting on top of the pressure cooker, and had just relieved himself, obviously very pleased with his new toilet.
“Honey…I told you, you should have changed the catbox.”
Joaquim grunted, pushed Boaz away, and started digging in the pressure cooker with a spoon.
He fished out the smartphone. “Right on target,” he moaned and sank down on the floor. “It’s over. There’s no remedy for this.”
Emily knelt beside him and gently kissed his forehead. “Honey, it’s only a phone. I’ll buy you a new one. But let’s love each other and be happy.
“Happy because you dropped my phone and Boaz peed on it?”
“You’re a big baby, honey.” Emily kissed him again. “But I love big babies, and God does too. But He doesn’t want you to stay a baby. So cheer up and have a good laugh at yourself.
Joaquim thought for a moment and then returned Emily’s kisses. He smiled.
“You’re so right Emi. We’ll forget about it. To make up, I will cook your favorite meal tonight. I will use the pressure cooker to save time…”
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