The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: LOCKED (10/27/22)
"What's in this?" Little Leah asked herself as she picked up her grandmother's antique box she kept hidden away in her drawer. "What
could it be?" Grandmother always said that this box contained her greatest treasure! Could it be a priceless gem, a piece of gold, or a magic stone? Little Leah picked up the box and noticed that it was locked. Unable to help herself, Leah took the box from the drawer and hid it under her bed. From that point on The young girl was obsessed with opening the box. She would hit it on the corner of her nightstand, she would drop it on her floor, and sometimes she would even jump on it.

Every time she heard her grandmother coming down the hall while trying to open the box, she would pick it up and stuff it back under her bed.
Grandmother would ask, "what is all the ruckus?" Leah would answer nervously, "I'm only dancing grandmother."

Finally, one day, Leah became frustrated with trying to open the box and took it to her grandmother. "Grandmother," she said, "I have a confession to make. I took your antique box and tried to open it without a key, It's a little beat up now, I'm sorry I took it without asking." Her grandmother replied laughing, "Indeed, you should not have taken this without asking but the good thing is that the outward condition of this box does nothing to affect the value of its contents." Grandmother continued, "Let me get the key and show you the most valuable possession I have ever received." Much to Leah's amazement, when her grandmother opened the box, all she saw was a crinkled-up piece of paper. "Your most valuable possession is an old crumpled-up piece of paper" Leah replied. "It's not a priceless gem,
a piece of gold, or a magic stone!" Grandmother replied, "no" with a smile. "This piece of paper has the date that I accepted Jesus into my heart. The gift of Jesus is the most precious thing I have ever received. Right now your heart may be like this box, it may be locked and you are trying all kinds of ways to get it open. But Jesus
has the key, and if you will only ask Him, he will open up your heart to receive the greatest possession you could ever receive."

That day little Leah asked Jesus into her heart. Her grandmother took her to an antique store and bought her a box. Leah wrote down that very date she received her greatest possession. She dreamed of the day that her granddaughter would ask her what was in her box.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 266 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Marlene MCPherson
11/05/22
A story that is relatable. I laughed when the little girl questioned the importance of the paper. I also like how you used the opportunity to teach and buy her a box too. Watch your paragraphing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/10/22
This is a delightful story. Children's stories are my favorite, and this has a lot of potential. You started with a great opener. The dialog doesn't quite feel authentic though. Eavesdrop on how little ones speak and take lots of notes. They tend to use incomplete sentences, slang, and contractions. Also work on showing instead of telling. Describe her facial expressions, body language, and actions instead of just telling what she might look like while being sneaky. It will paint a picture for the reader. I really enjoyed this. It has a beautiful message without feeling preachy and would make a great picture book or a Sunday school take-home sheet.