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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: BREATH( 11/19/20)

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TITLE: Deal-Breaker | Writing Challenge By Samuel Kane 11/24/20

~ 6th Place  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE  SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT  ADD TO MY FAVORITES

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Key of A

Verse (quiet strumming on guitar)
They say the stars shine out the truth of love
Your smile and laugh give hope of God above
You bring joy to my life and peace to my heart
If it weren’t for your breath, we’d never part.

Pre-chorus (enter keyboard harmonies and electric guitar riffs)
Darling I love you so,
I’m glad to have you but you have to know.
I don’t want to seem rude;
I don’t want our love to be misconstrued.

Chorus (Enter electric drums)
You start to lean in for a kiss,
And the odour of it makes me grimace!
Just take a mint or I’ll be sick,
The stench is so bad I just can’t commit.
Babe – I don’t want to seem shallow
But the guy down the street was like “hello.”
I’m sorry babe but that’s a deal-breaker
I said that’s a deal-breaker – woah-oh
Oh yeah – it’s a deal-breaker – verse two.

Verse 2 (drop but keep the piano and a simple drumbeat)
We walk through the street. You laugh at my jokes.
You carry my bags. You’re great with my folks.
A master of romantic hypnosis
But I just can’t stand your halitosis!

Pre-chorus (build up again)
Darling I love you so
…

Chorus
You start to lean in for a kiss
…

Bridge (drop down to just bass and then build the drums)
I can’t take it anymore.
You open your mouth; I fall to the floor!
I can’t take it anymore.
You open your mouth; I fall to the floor!
(High power)
You make me a better person,
But your fetor is starting to worsen.
Our love, it will always be true
(Cut out completely)
But sorry honey: it’s not me, it’s you.

Woah-oh (Massive build)

Chorus (key change with backup singers)
You start to lean in for a kiss ----- Look honey here’s the deal:
And the odour of it makes me grimace! ----- sign your name on the dotted line.
Just take a mint or I’ll be sick, ----- The wedding bells could have peeled,
The stench is so bad I just can’t commit ----- but your breath makes you stink like swine.
Babe – I don’t want to seem shallow ----- There is no room for negotiation.
But the guy down the street was like “hello.” ----- Your oral stench will poison creation!
I’m sorry babe but that’s a deal-breaker ----- I will no longer be tethered.
I said that’s a deal-breaker – woah-oh ----- Say goodbye to our life together.
(drop down for the last time)
Oh yeah – it’s a deal-breaker! The end.

(big final chord)

(spoken) No hard feelings.

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Manager’s Response: Loved the song. I think that we’ve got a real hit here. The lyrics are so deep and communicate an especially important and inspirational message. I’ll see you in the recording studio on Monday.

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