Marriage

Contract or Covenant?

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
02/15/25
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Contract versus Covenant
[In contribution to Marriage Week 2025]


Marriage is not a contract, it's a covenant. 

A contract is a legal agreement between two parties, conditional based on mutual benefits. Either side has the right to end the agreement if one party fails to uphold their side of the agreement.   


A covenant is a sacred and life-long commitment made before God and man.

The Wycliffe Bible Dictionary says, “ Marriage is a solemn covenant entered into by one man and one woman in perfect freedom, in which they pledge their love and fidelity, one to the other, in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity, so long as they both shall live. It is terminable in God’s sight only by death, or by gross infidelity, or by separation on the part of an unbelieving spouse (Mt 5:32; 19:9; Rom 7:2-3; 1 Cor 7:15). Such a covenant should be made only between two persons of like mind and faith, for “what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?” (ii Cor 6:14-15, RSV).

According to Genesis 2:24, reading from the New International Version, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”


We later moved on to another church (different denomination) things weren't improving in our marriage but we jumped right back into serving in the church. Again years had passed and nothing was happening in the way of growth so this time I suggested putting together a marriage seminar to which I was told, "The singles and divorcees would feel left out..."


Again, and again we reached out for help but no success. The reasoning behind the lack of investment into the couples and families within the fellowship were concerns for other groups of Believers.


That process began in response to the church saying to us, "Don't isolate, reach out!" But each time I reached out, by faith, I would end up right back where I started. Travelling with the weight and losing hope in ever receiving the help I needed.

Help! Help! Help!

The cry for help is sometimes silent but noticeable by the displayed actions. I held onto hope because my grandparents showed me, that marriage, when done God's way, does work and that's because He is the center of that marriage. However, the grandparents I knew, weren't the parents my mother and her siblings knew.


I would like to think they grew in wisdom by the time I met them. It would appear that their parenting weren't the most effective. Though, like other parents they would have done the best that they could with what little knowledge they had. Their shortcomings in the way they led their children meant that I didn't get to see the practical working out of marriage and parenting: How a father and mother operates in the home; how a husband treats his wife; how the parent-child relationship works etc.

Lack of protection 

My mother didn't receive the full covering of her father. The opportunity presented itself where my birth father took advantage and left my mother pregnant with me. She is still suffering the negative consequences to this day, so am I. My marriage is now affected and I am now aware of how generational trauma gets transferred.


We went to Sunday school, youth group, youth camp & conventions but I left my childhood not knowing how to exist within relationships. We learned about God but not about doing life with each other. We heard about forgiveness but didn't see it practised in our presence. 

Now we are the ones the younger generation look to for guidance. Where we are empty or without knowledge and understanding, we must educate ourselves in order to break the cycle.

We are perishing for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). This is why as I research and as I learn through my own experience, I share through my writing, so that others like me, who grew up without the necessary training, may find some value from my sharing, that they can apply to their situation, becoming more aware and helping others in their circles.


God is everywhere! If we take time to seek Him we will find Him. I pray that you've been encouraged to go and live the life of abundance that Jesus came to give you (John 10:10b).

Be blessed and continue to be a blessing to others.



Happy Marriage Week!

End of article.

Read Part 1 ~ Can My Story Help To Make A Difference?

Read Part 2 ~ How Can The Church Better Help Couples?

Read Part 3 ~ Contract or Covenant?

Your Sister in Christ,
Janice 
(14th February 2025)