Grief

What I Found Through My Reflection

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
06/22/24
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(John 14:18, NIV).

When a wounded place is touched, there's a reaction equal to when the wound was just inflicted. It's a form of 'PTSD'. Those around you, won't understand why you react that way. However, they too, being wounded themselves may not respond in a loving way and that sometimes becomes a conflict left unresolved. Time does not heal our emotional pain. It simply multiplies it, leaving you reliving the pain, over and over, again.


However, I  have been able to reflect on the past and in so doing, I recognised, through indepth research since 2020, some key problem areas. Now it depends on what I do with that information that will determine the next step towards healing.


During my research, I came across a 7 day devotional called, 'Life After Church Hurt' by Matt Hammitt and Eric Newberry. It has exercises I am currently going through and finding them very helpful. I believe this will help me to begin the healing process of dealing with the hurt coming from the pain inflicted by the individuals within the church.


I have also come across the 'Grief Recovery Method.' This type of help is what I have been looking for but didn't know it. Through this program I will be able to deal with wounding from parental neglect which has found me settling for less than God's best for me in all other relationships.


I believe I will also be able to use that method to overcome other areas of loss such as baby loss, loss of community, loss of close connection with siblings, extended family members and friends, as well as the reality of my current existence versus what I had imagined/expected.


So, once I complete the tasks in the Church Hurt devotional, for my next step, I would like to go through the 'Grief Recovery Method' in order to experience life in its fullness.


I long to experience the benefits of thriving relationships. God created us for relationship with Him and with all of mankind. Grief, especially if unprocessed or incomplete, can interfere with our relationships. We get drawn into or we ourselves draw others into a vault of chaos when we don't acknowledge the hurt we feel from inflicted pain. Conflict ensues and because we lack relationship skills, conflict is often left unresolved and the hurt left unaddressed turns into resentment. We then become victims of our own doing. We become our worse enemy as resentment destroys us from within.


Let's do the work that leads to true freedom. True apology and forgiveness is a process. We must do the hard work.

I had to set aside time to process!

First, I  had to acknowledge the hurt/injury to my heart.

Next, I used a feelings chart to help with naming the feeling.

Then, I had to figure out why I felt the way I did.

After that process, I  was able to have an informed conversation with my family about the situation without it becoming a complaint.

 
>>>End of article: 'God Did Not Leave Me As An Orphan'.

© 2024, Janice S Ramkissoon

>>>Back to part 1 of God Did Not Leave Me As An Orphan