Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: THE UGLY TOURIST (07/09/15)
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TITLE: The Troll | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gregory Kane
07/16/15 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I mean like, take a look at this photo of some buffoon straddling the Eiffel Tower. Wow, I never saw anything like that before, not! Or this shot of someone's sunburned pins sloping gracelessly towards the roaring surf. As if there aren't ten million photos just like that already on Google. It beats me why people even bother. Of course, that's why I make sure and tell people how tedious and dreadful their holiday snaps really are.
I have online identities all over the Net, whether on Facebook, TripAdvisor, Flickr, or Tumblr. You name it, I've got an account, maybe even several. I don't know who all these people are and I don't much care. But the moment some wannabe uploads their latest holiday snapshot, I'm lurking nearby, ready to pounce. Normally I hang back until a few people have left comments, invariably nauseatingly cheerful. Then I'll drop in a casual remark about the poor camera angle or the inadequate exposure. Maybe I'll lament the lack of originality in the composition, or I'll highlight some spelling or grammar error in the description. And then I like to pour myself a cold one and sit back as I wait for all the fun to start. I can pretty much guarantee that the next sixty minutes will see a flood of aggrieved acquaintances rallying round to laud and defend their friend's rather pathetic photo.
Holidays are great. I love examining what other people get up to on their vacations. Sometimes I'll spend an evening scrolling through someone's online album, making my own private observations on whether people look tipsy or obese or fit to explode. Inevitably I find myself pouring scorn at the screen over places they forgot to visit or culinary specialities that they neglected to sample. Occasionally I will even log on and leave them a thoughtful comment on these omissions.
I remember years ago booking a week's holiday in Portugal. In preparation for my vacation, I read every tourist review I could lay my hands on. I also watched hours and hours of videos on YouTube of other people's trips to the same location. The flight was tedious and my hotel was vaguely as described. But when I reached each of the key sights on my itinerary, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I had seen it all a hundred times before. I eventually returned home wondering why I had bothered.
So these days I don't take expensive foreign holidays. If I fancy the idea of going somewhere, I research the place online and I watch a few selected videos from reputable sources. To be honest, I find that this gives me just as good an experience as actually jumping on a plane. Plus it saves on all the mosquitoes, the dodgy undercooked meals, and the frustration of having to rely on a phrase book for those natives too stupid to learn English.
I now consider myself something of an expert. I have 'visited' more than 120 destinations and it's cost me nothing. That's why I like to prowl the Internet, passing judgement on the experiences of others. Some say that I'm a bit sad; some even dare to call me a troll. But who are they to criticise? No one compelled all these people to crow about their vacations online and to share one insipid snapshot after another. It's a free world, ain't it?
Hey, did you see what some twit just tweeted? She looks like a beached whale. Now that demands a response...
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I'm not into social media but have seen scathing remarks online under threads of interest I might read. Or even with commenting about books. Some of these "anonymous" indidivuals relish heaping misery onto others.
Good job.
God bless~
Thanks for the read.