‘I am truly blessed!’ Grrrrr ….
I have a bee in my bonnet! For the uninformed, this means that I nurture an unholy urge to explode into a frenzied and sustained attack that will culminate in me ripping the offending tongue out of the owner’s head!
What? Yes, of course I’m a Christian – I’m being honest aren’t I? I hear the obligatory tut and sharp intakes of breath. I note the bumptious stares scuttling down long noses to check out my buzzing headgear!
Pardon me - did you dash by without shaking my hand just now? My hand is not contaminated. I have nothing transmittable. You’re safe, so long as you didn’t trample me purposely in the race to suck up to the minister. I can hear you …
“Thank you Pastor, you noticed, my kids are amazing. I am truly blessed!”
“Pastor, we got the house and best school. We are truly, doubly blessed!”
“Little Jimmy got top grades again Pastor. How truly blessed are we!”
OK. Rant over! I’m not the raging, maniacal woman I’ve described; Far from it. But seeing as I’ve got your attention …
Many years ago as I walked to work, I passed a middle aged lady with two young adults waiting for a pick up. I assumed she was a carer until I stopped for a chat. Andy and Sonia were her own offspring and she told me of her years of humiliation, having given birth to two unmistakably learning disabled children. When Andy, the eldest was born, for the first months of his life she never took down the hood of his stroller, such was the stigma and shame.
I was incensed by the reprehensible attitude of society toward this longsuffering lady, who was clearly devoted to her adolescent children. As a teen myself, I had endless plans for my future. Everything I dreamed of doing, with hard work and careful planning, was within my grasp.
Enter: Boyfriend /husband; babies x 2 plus one dog. I had the traditional 2.5 set up, albeit with slight variation on the theme. My dream of dancing on the stage of an ocean liner; playing hostess on a transatlantic flight; anything to indulge my passion for travel, left me with egg splattered all over my silly, day-dreaming face.
The day I recalled Andy and Stella, was the day I found myself waiting for pick up. The children were my own. The difference was that mine looked ‘normal,’ being on the Autistic Spectrum of disorders.
When kids look normal, people expect normal behaviour and frown when it’s not forthcoming. When normal looking kids grow into young men and act weird, it becomes something else altogether.
Life has its moments and ours was defined by rituals, rules and obsessions, with the odd meltdown thrown in. The party invites soon stopped. Friend’s are not geared up to survive a massive fist pounding doors and walls when a seizure occurs, or an ‘accident’ on the way to the bathroom.
Who would they be without the Asperger’s - who knows? The youngest has an amazing aptitude for art and music. The eldest, with his fixation on wildlife has a high speed processor in place of grey matter. Yet both struggle in the department of ‘life.’
They are who they are and accept their limitations. And because they do, so do I. Any small achievement is a bonus to be thankful for. It’s a question of degrees. Hardly an academic degree, yet another step forward in the skills and activities of daily living that others take for granted.
If my menfolk had been regular ‘world class’ variety, would I have spent hour upon hour seeking answers from the God who knit them together in my womb, who knew them before they were formed and loves them even more than I do? I doubt it!
Would I have learned to trust and rely totally upon Him for their future well-being and my sanity? I think not!
Surely God has a purpose and plan for their lives too. It’s not my business to speculate, but to listen carefully and be attuned through prayerful reading of His word.
One day He’ll tell me to ‘let go’ and leave them in His safekeeping. I confess – I’m scared! But He’s brought us this far, and because He promised that He’d never leave us or forsake us, with sincerity I can say …
We are truly blessed!
*Asperger’s Syndrome is at the more able end of the Autistic Spectrum. People with Asperger’s do not necessarily have impaired intellect, but can be severely challenged in other areas, particularly social and communication skills. Generally, they become very vulnerable adults.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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