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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)

TITLE: The Rescuer
By Kathy Bruins
02/20/06


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My classroom is gone. All I see is black. My legs hurt. Where’s my mommy? I can’t move. There’s too much dirt around me. I move my eyes to look around at darkness. Is it night?

I cough. My mouth has dirt in it. I want to yell, but I can’t. I feel like I’m choking. Who will find me? I think I hear someone crying. I wonder if it’s Sarah. Sarah’s my best friend. I can’t tell who it is. I wish I could help them…tell them it’s going to be okay. After awhile, I don’t hear them anymore. Maybe they fell asleep. Maybe teacher helped them.

Mommy said that singing sometimes helps us feel better. I feel like singing “Jesus Loves Me.” I try, but I can’t make any noise. I can sing it inside though.

I see a light that is very bright. It’s a lady carrying a light. She tells me to rest. “Everything will be fine, Macy. Your mom will be here soon. Just close your eyes and rest.” She touches my cheek. I close my eyes and soon fall asleep.

I hear something. As I open my eyes, I see that I am in a bed. There is strange noises around me…the room is very white. There’s Mommy…she’s crying and laughing at the same time.

“Mommy,” I try to say.

“Honey, you’re fine now. Just rest.” Her eyes are smiling, but wet.

“That’s what the lady with the light said to me in the school when it was so dark.”

A man walks into the room. He is talking quietly with Mommy.

I hear Mommy ask him, “Was there someone else with you in the building when you found her?”

“No, I was the first one to enter. Luckily, Macy was in the first room by the door.” Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “Maybe she had a dream in the midst of a nightmare.”

I can’t hear what Mommy is saying to the man.

In the hall, Macy’s mother sighed, “I can’t believe that none of the other children survived the mudslide. How will I explain this to Macy? I feel so bad for those other families, but I praise God that Macy is here. He has a purpose for this young life. I don’t understand why the other dear children died, but I won’t take this gift for granted.”


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This article has been read 891 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marilyn Schnepp 02/27/06
A bittersweet story - a little girl that made it and many who did not. Nicely done
janet rubin02/28/06
Sad. Well-written.
david grant02/28/06
Very good. Watch your tense. We are in the present until the last paragraph and then "Macy’s mother sighed,"