Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Persuasion (not about the book) (09/01/11)
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TITLE: He knows | Previous Challenge Entry
By C D Swanson
09/01/11 -
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The red brick steps were peeling with decay.
As I walked up the steps, I heard crunching under my feet as a brick came loose.
Regaining my balance, I made it to the top without incident.
The huge yellow wooden door, with a broken glass pane in the center greeted me menacingly.
There was a sign that read, “Do not ring bell…out of order.”
I held my bible in my hand.
I knocked on the door gingerly at first.
No response, then I knocked again…slightly harder this time.
I tried to peek into the broken glass pane.
But, it was covered with so much grime it was exceedingly difficult to see anything.
While I was waiting, I glanced at the open trash can and its contents that spilled over the rim.
Yodels wrappers, Hershey bar wrappers, macaroni & cheese boxes, potato chip bags.
The garbage spoke volumes, it screamed, “a veritable potpourri of artery clogging nutrition”
It made me sad knowing that people who are low on funds,
eat inexpensively, and that usually means “junk” food.
Probably an older individual living alone on a fixed income,
And, as I finished that thought, the door opened slightly.
“Yes?” The wrinkled face with faded blue eyes asked in a low tone.
“Hello, I am sorry to disturb you…I am from the Christ Missionary Offices, my name is…”
“What do you want?” She inquired, this time in a loud blunt tone.
“I would like to speak to you about God, and do a health assessment on you as well.
“I don’t know you Miss, why should I trust you, even though you have an honest face.”
“You are correct to say and feel that, however, here are my credentials.” Kristen held out her ID.
“Yep, that is you, so?”
“Well let me start by saying this…We are a non-profit organization that donates items needed for people, such as yourself, according to their individual circumstances and needs.
“I ain’t got no need for nothing Miss pretty face.”
“I appreciate that” Kristen continued, with due patience. “I only want to help, God sent me.”
“Okay, so how do you want to help me?”
“Well, I would love to enter your apartment, sit down, and take inventory of your health; and your surroundings as to what may be needed. Is that okay with you, Mrs.…?”
“My name is Mrs. Grayson, why you want to bother with me?”
“Mrs. Grayson, it is a pleasure.”
“Well, I suppose you can come inside, for a while anyways.”
“Thank you.”
The hallway reeked of urine, and the blue paint on the walls was peeling.
“Here is my apartment, come in.”
“Thank you.”
The apartment was musty, and filled with knick knacks.
Kristen noticed a Holy Bible its words on the cover well worn. It had obviously been used for many years.
“You want some tea?”
“No, thank you.”
“My husband and I used to drink tea, all the time, and right about this time too.”
Kirsten nodded and smiled.
“I was mad for a long time when he died. I felt God took him before his time.”
“I am so sorry Mrs. Grayson. How long were you married?”
“65 years” She picked up the Holy Bible. “I was angry because I found him dead in bed, I wasn’t able to say goodbye, nothing. He was just gone, just like that.”
“I couldn’t understand. He seemed fine. I was so angry at God, but then the autopsy report came back. He had cancer throughout his body, never told me a thing. He must have suffered so very much. I got down on my knees and asked God to forgive me! He took him out of his misery, took him home, and all I did was yell at God!”
“We do not always know God’s ways or His plans…But, they are always for the best” Kristen said.
“He took Albert home while sleeping peacefully. I had no idea the pain he was in. And, I was yelling at God! Can he forgive me?” She started to cry openly.
“God loves you.” Kristen smiled. “He knows you are sorry…It will be okay.”
Through her tears she saw her bible opened to Albert’s favorite scripture, Psalm 119:105.
And, suddenly the beautiful lady was gone! She left a card with a number, and money.
Mrs. Grayson realized it took an Angel to persuade her that she was forgiven.
She sipped her tea. Thank you Lord!
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You did switch tenses. You also missed some quotation marks here and there. I was a tad disappointed at the end. The older lady had known God and I don't know if you really needed to make the visitor an angel.
I did enjoy the message. It is okay to get angry with God at times. He will forgive us. I also liked that someone cared enough for the elderly to go out and minister to their physical and spurted needs.