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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Writer’s Skill/Craft (04/22/10)

TITLE: Tinsel's Town
By Sharon Laughter


“Hey Sam! Over here!”

Sam hoisted the last crate of apples into the bed of his trusty-rusty and peered around the side. Why, that was Warren Snide flailing his arms all over. Whatever he put on that orangish colored hair of his to keep it spiked at attention was sure worth the money. He watched Warren spring across the street, barely missing Cyde Turrell’s blue Honda. The baker rolled his beefy arms into a twist and squinted against the morning sun.

“What’s up, Warren?” Sam asked, arching his brows at the minister-a-leaping.

“I need you!” Warren choked out. “You’ve got to fix my electricity! The socket in my study smells like its melting!”

Sam raised on arm in protest, looking like a railroad crossing signal. “I don’t know anything about electricity!”

“Who cares!” Snide pleaded. I’ve heard that whole houses can burn down from rats in the wires! God’ll guide you– I’m sure!”

“But I’ve NEVER ---“

“Here’s the key!” Avoiding a large glob of raspberry filling, the Pastor shoved the item into Sam’s apron. Moving like a large mutant grasshopper Pastor Snide lept back across the street and was swallowed up by the entrance of “Barney’s Bargains”.

Sam shoved the tailgate closed. “What the biscuit?” he muttered.

(Okay, it’s a small town. What else? Ah, I see a little girl. She’s poking her head from around –a barrel? About ten. Blonde? Nah, too cliché. She’s not the little princess type. She’s got kind of auburn hair and she’s plain. But amazing eyes! Yeah, they’re silvery blue and sparkle like the cool trout lake down the road. And she’s got the personality of a geyser! Now lets see. There’s a town meanie. Man or woman? Man. He’s all scowling and I see him sweeping.)

Dither Birge wielded his broom like a machete and whacked away at the dust on the boardwalk in front of his store.

(So if the town has a boardwalk, it has to be some kind of tourist place…like Cripple Creek in Colorado!)

His hair was the color of the coal and silver like they used to mine near the town. (Nope.) His hair glistened and was the same color as the precious silver once mined in surrounding hills. Dither’s weathered face was now pink from the early morning exertion.

(He’s a bitter man and mean. But why? Lonely. Wife died early in their marriage. Dither is mean and Tinsel- oh how cute! Where did that come from? “Tinsel” what a great name for the little girl! She’s got a heart for the old crab. He’s mean to her but somehow she knows the source of his real pain and wants him happy. They’re like kindred spirits because she doesn’t have a mother...)

Tinsel Crane bopped back behind the old rain barrel and stifled a giggle.

(Hey, I’ll call it “Tinsel’s Town”! That’s cute. There’ll be tourists coming and going. That way a mature woman will arrive and Tinsel can play matchmaker. Let the games begin! The moral of the story will be grace and reward. Tinsel tries to bring happiness into Dither’s life and is rewarded by getting a mother for herself! Maybe the older lady will have a daughter she hauls on vacation with her. No, the woman has to be doing something that will explain an extended stay. Her name is Marelle and her daughter, a thirty year old widow, will then snag Tinsel’s father’s interest.)

Marelle hopped down from the horse-drawn carriage which sent a few chunks of gravel a-skitter. Thank goodness there seemed to be no manure in the immediate vicinity. Of all things, a carriage ride through town! A few more crazy adventures like this one and she’d either go crazy or her writer’s block would dissolve from the shock of it all. She patted her coiffed hair, newly dyed in “sunset sand” and assessed her surroundings. What was that funny little man attacking over there in front of “Dither’s Deli”?

(Now back to Snide and Snead. Hey, I like that. He’ll be Snead instead of Sam. Note to self: change it at the start of the story! Somehow these two will get caught up in Tinsel’s schemes. Wow. This being made in God’s image is a kick! When you write you get to create characters, worlds, happy endings! Just like God does. I love it. Now, let’s see… Marelle’s daughter’s name will be Collette. She’ll have hair the color of pecans. Curly? straight?)

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This article has been read 431 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/29/10
This is brilliant. The fast pace of the story left me breathless.
Marilyn Schnepp 04/29/10
Whew! I got down as far as Cripple Creek and gave up. I was so confused about who was who, and all the new people popping up that I quit reading. I'll come back and read the rest when I get my head straightened out. Honest Injun! Just a matter of bad timing ...needed something soothing after a stressful day. Later....ok? (*.*)
Amanda Brogan05/31/10
Funny and fun! (And if that Honda were green, you'd further prove my theory that they are very bad luck. HeHe! Long story. . .)

Anyway, I like the processing going on here in the writer's mind. I almost didn't want to leave Sam and the grass-hoppery preacher though. ;)
Amanda Brogan05/31/10
I just realized something . . . a preacher with orange, spikey hair???!! Whoa! He must be a youth pastor. . . HeHe! ;)
Jan Ackerson 05/04/11
Sharon, I'm going to feature this VERY clever story in the Front Page Showcase for the week of May 30. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page--and congratulations!