The Official Writing Challenge
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I can so relate to the MC in this piece. It's so much easier to stay at home than face the world. You did a good job of painting a picture of despair and depression.
03/01/10
I'm not sure I understand how the beginning ties in, but I loved the rest of it. She listened to the voice that said "obsolete" and, despite her arguments to the contrary, she became what was said of her. And finally, broken, she concedes to listen to that Other Voice. Great writing on this - love the voice and the "feel" of it.
03/02/10
Some wonderfully rich language and I particularly liked your introductory paragraphs. I felt, mind, that the piece dragged towards the end
I agree, an excellent picture of depression and finally coming to God in it. However, it was confusing and hard to sort out at first for me. And I agree that the 4 line poem and starting paragraph is confusing. One possible suggestion might be to put this line at the TOP, even before the 4 line poem: "I journaled. It was the only way I could convince myself that nothing was quite wrong with me, even when it wasn’t exactly right either." Then we'd both have the background that there's some confusion and that the MC is journaling, which would explain the 4 line poem more? Just an idea.
Your work always seems to carry a second message that takes careful reading to find - but once you do, you see the kind, generous heart of the author and are well-pleased to meet her.
03/03/10
Fine writing here, I enjoyed it. You are a bit of wordsmith :)