The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I thought the first half of this was excellent--a deft touch with the dialogue, and superb characterization.

The second half fizzled a bit for me--the Christian sister's preachiness would have turned me off as it did the character in the story. Her whole language and demeanor seemed to change. Perhaps that was your intent--to show the wrong way to do it?

You're an excellent writer...can't wait to see who wrote this!