The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/01/09
I enjoyed this all the way through, but especially the last line. So true! Well done!
05/02/09
Some clever interplay of Scripture.
I was a little confused by your last line. I assumed that Jared and Daniel were still boys, in which case I felt that Jared's use of language was a little too grown up to be authentic. However maybe they're meant to be adults on a visit home, in which case it sort of fits. I think I got myself confused somewhere along the way!
Regardless of the above, some great tomfoolery and an apt message too.
If I was the mother, I quess I would have to look on the bright side of these two fighting brothers...at leat they know the Bible. lol Nice job!
05/04/09
This is cute and fun! One little vocab note (and maybe it was just a typo): 'loose' is an archaic word meaning 'set free'. I assume you meant 'lose'.