Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hard and Soft (04/23/09)

TITLE: By the Book
By Allison Egley
04/29/09


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Jared snuck up behind his brother, Daniel, the pillow primed and ready on his shoulder. With an Arnold Schwarzenegger like swing, Jared made contact with the back of Daniel's head.

Daniel went hurling spread-eagle to the ground. Rubbing the back of his head, Daniel sat up and looked at Jared.

"Geze! What do you have in that pillowcase? A brick?? I probably have a concussion."

"Let's see... are you seeing stars or feeling dizzy?"

"Nope."

"And you definitely remember what happened right before and after... you don't look like you're going to hurl... Do you have a headache?"

"Not yet, but your questioning is about to give me one."

"You aren't squinting, so that rules out sensitivity to light and probably blurred vision. I can understand every word you're speaking, you're concentrating quite well on revenge, I can tell..." Jared threw a ball at Daniel's head.

"Man, are you trying to kill me again?" Daniel asked, as he caught the ball before it made contact.

"Coordination and balance appear to be fine..."

"You know, I'm about to make you loose your balance," Daniel said, standing up and dropping the ball to the side, taking a wrestling stance.

"Uh oh. You appear to be irritable for no apparent reason."

"'No apparent reason?' Would you like me to knock you over for 'no apparent reason?'"

"And you definitely are not overly tired. So you're fine. No concussion."

"Thank you, for that expert diagnosis, Mr. WebMD," Daniel said, flopping back down to the ground.

"You know, Iím getting more and more concerned about this 'irritable for no apparent reason' symptom," Jared teased.

Daniel shook he head and rolled his eyes, while rubbing the back of his head. "What did you have in there anyway?"

"Just my CD case," Jared replied, whistling innocently

"Well your CD case almost gave me a concussion. The Bible has something to say about that, you know."

"What? The Bible?"

"Yep. Proverbs 15:1 'A soft answer turns away wrath...' New King James Version."

"Well, thank YOU, Mr. New King James," Jared retorted.

Daniel chuckled to himself, as he noticed his mp3 player attached to the stereo. If he could just reach it and get to the right song without Jared noticing.... Daniel grabbed the mp3 player, scrolled to the selected song, turned the volume up, and pressed play.

Jared recoiled, holding his ears, as Daniel leapt up and quickly glissaded to the freezer. "Man, Daniel," Jared complained. You know I hate this song. How do I turn this stupid thing down?"

Daniel laughed menacingly. "Perfect position," he said quietly to himself, as he hurled his prize towards its target.

Jared yelped, holding the small of his back, as he fell to the ground. "You could have paralyzed me!"

Daniel looked carefully at his brother's feet. "Nope your toes are wiggling. Not paralyzed."

"What is this, anyway?" Jared asked, picking up the misshapen ball from the floor. Is this the frozen water balloon we hid in the freezer? Why you little..."

"I'm just getting my revenge," Daniel cooed innocently. "And it's Biblical."

"Oh yeah? I'd like to hear that one, if you don't mind."

"Certainly. Job 38:30 'Water becomes hard like stone, and the surface of the deep is imprisoned.' New American Standard Bible," Daniel replied with a silly grin.

"How about I pound some more obscure Bible references into your head?" Jared said, grabbing the Bible from the coffee table.

"'Thou shalt not kill!' Exodus 20:13. King James Version!" Daniel shouted, covering his head with his arms as he ran from the room.

"Mooooooommmmmmmmm," Daniel's using the Bible to defend himself again," Jared yelled, as he ran out of the room, chasing his brother.

Jan chuckled, watching from the next room, as her sons run after each other. "Boys will be boys," she said to herself. "Even after they're all grown up."


*****
Symptoms of a concussion taken from: http://kidshealth.org/teen/safety/first_aid/concussions.html#


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 548 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shelley Ledfors 05/01/09
I enjoyed this all the way through, but especially the last line. So true! Well done!
Gregory Kane05/02/09
Some clever interplay of Scripture.
I was a little confused by your last line. I assumed that Jared and Daniel were still boys, in which case I felt that Jared's use of language was a little too grown up to be authentic. However maybe they're meant to be adults on a visit home, in which case it sort of fits. I think I got myself confused somewhere along the way!
Regardless of the above, some great tomfoolery and an apt message too.
Kristen Hester05/03/09
If I was the mother, I quess I would have to look on the bright side of these two fighting brothers...at leat they know the Bible. lol Nice job!
Jae Blakney05/04/09
This is cute and fun! One little vocab note (and maybe it was just a typo): 'loose' is an archaic word meaning 'set free'. I assume you meant 'lose'.