Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Christmas Cooking/Baking (not recipes) (10/16/08)
TITLE: My Can Opener Still Works
By Marilyn Schnepp
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To make the point of my unique abnormality, let me begin with the length of time I spent being a Debutante'-in-Waiting BEFORE ever getting my first introduction to society. Believe it or not, it was just this last Christmas at a fashionable sit-down dinner party for Senior Citizen residents that I finally got the opportunity to make my debut to my peers...the "over sixty crowd."
But as luck would have it, I had to go and make a faux pas, by saying: "This is the best Christmas dinner I've had since I left prison." Of course jaws dropped open, eyebrows rose, and some even stifled gasps as the silver hairs sitting next to me instinctively, but trying hard to be nonchalant about it, moved a few inches away from me on the right or on the left, depending on which side of me they were sitting.
I immediately realized how it must have sounded, so I quickly explained that I had worked and retired as a Correctional Officer at the Women's State Prison, and that the Christmas meals there were delicious, despite what they had read about prison food. I could sense, feel and hear the sigh of relief from my new found friends... for now they were suddenly all eyes and ears, bending closer to ask the innermost secrets of "what goes on behind iron bars". The table now buzzed with conversaton.
Dutifully, I answered their questions, and proceeded to show more of my ignorance by stating that I had never cooked a Christmas meal in my whole life: "My parents were vegetarians, so I never cooked a Christmas turkey", I explained..."Plus," I continued, "I married a chef who had his own restaurant, so I never learned, or even tried to learn kitchen skills aside from how to use a can opener."
So much for my coming out party and my debut as a Retired Debutante' - and so much for my lack of culinary arts. But I did find out that individualistic "differences" can be used to liven up what might otherwise have been a dull and boring dinner party.
God gives each of us something special to share with our fellowman; for some it might be a delicious pecan pie or a Christmas turkey baked to perfection, or like me, (the oddball), just a lighthearted chuckle or smile as I talked about how I wielded my can opener like a Pro.
Besides, who wants to go to all the trouble of cooking and baking just for one?
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