The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/24/07
I can really appreciate this story. I'm a grandma of 7 month old twins from my daughter and am waiting for the birth of twins from my son. We have had plenty of laughs imagining such things as you describe. You did a good job of portraying the build up, the pent up desire of your main character. It was nice to experience this earliest phase of love! Keep it up!
08/24/07
I truly enjoyed the descriptions, especially of the characters' emotions. I hope you expand this - would love to learn more about all four of these characters. What a contrast between the two young men!
I too liked the contrast in characters. For a while there I thought the mix-up might prove provedential. Great writing, as always, Jackie.
oops! misspelled providential!