The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/02/07
The last paragraph is PERFECT. This so tugs at the heartstrings. Love the reporter's name, and the personalities of the characters.
08/05/07
This definitely has a great title and a great ending!

This is very dialogue-heavy--perhaps a bit more description would help to put your readers in the setting.

Nothing like a precious little girl to put a lump in the ol' throat...
08/05/07
I liked it! You developed emotion expertly and had great reader involvement. God bless.
This is a beautiful story told very well.
08/06/07
It's amazing how the handicaps of others can bring light to our own. Beautiful story. Thank you.
08/06/07
This reads like the beginning of a good book! I'd like to know more about your main character, and the Center she loves so much.
08/08/07
Love your last line! And dear Emily sounds like an angel. One note: "Your Lillian’s grandson" should be "You're". ^_^ Good job with this. I liked your characters, how real they were.
08/08/07
A good look at tragedy, how it impacts different people, and how it can move people to kindness. I enjoyed reading this.
08/08/07
I'd like to read more about this little girl's story, as well as what happens next. Well written.
I found the descriptions of your characters and their dialogue between each other kept the story focused and moving quickly. I had a strong sense that this was just the beginning of a larger story in novella form because of your writing style.
Such a heart touching story, Rita! I'm so glad I stopped in for this treat! It's precious.