The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
03/07/05
I really liked this. You did a great job of putting the reader into the girl's shoes. It brought tears to my eyes & I've lived in the same county all my life so I have no idea of how it would feel to move around a lot. Nice entry.
03/07/05
Good use of language and surroundings in story. Your use of the child's poor english and subtle ethnic references helped create perspective. I thank Christ that His love looks beyond those things! Keep up the good work!
03/08/05
This is a wonderful story. I was reading it aloud but when I got to the part where the teacher whispers to Starisha, I got all choked up and had to finish reading in my head. Your "jargon" is well done too, and not artificial sounding. Very nice job! Thank you!
03/08/05
Beautiful.
03/10/05
Great story.

I could feel the pain of this child.

Being the daughter of a construction worker and then the wife of a construction worker this brought back memories.
Thank God for caring teachers.

Kathy
Several years back I worked for the Migrant Ministry. We used to give scholarships to migrant kids to go to camps and then had to choose the "brightest ones" as the others couldn't afford to miss summer school. It hurt me so much so my boss and I helped start a free camp at the end of summer school for everyone. I wanted them to have a place they belonged and could share camp stories when school started like other kids. I worked with migrant kids on the weekends to get them out of some isolated camps. I heard this story so many times and always cried with them. So this just brought back some memories for me. You told the story in such a truthful manner that it had to touch the reader.
03/12/05
Very touching. You get inside this little girl's mind so beautifully. Well done.
03/14/05
A very touching story. The reader was able to feel the pain of the child and was happy that Jesus' love was exemplified in the teacher. Very realistically told.
03/14/05
Chris, congratulations on receiving a Level 2 Highly Commended Award. The level of competition was very high for this Challenge, and this award really is a credit to you. Well done. With love, Deb (Challenge Co-ordinator)