The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/07/14
I've enjoyed your edgy writing for a while now, and have no doubt that you're rapidly rising to the top here in the challenges. Unbelievably risky stuff here that many will no doubt label irreverent...and I'd certainly not dispute that point. But you make people think and your writing is so well done that somehow, someway you pull off what others wouldn't even attempt. I'll be interested in seeing how this rates. Big fan of your writing.
This is great. I love a story that starts out with passing gas. You made me literally laugh out loud (I think I woke my husband.) It reminds me a bit of the story I wrote once and have always wondered, "Will there be bathrooms in Heaven?"

My red ink is for the ending. I think you went a couple of lines too long. I'd have had the penultimate line be: He took another long drink from his soda, and they all sat quietly contemplating their view of Jesus.
The stuff in between isn't needed because the reader would assume it.

The last line was perfect. I love a story even more when it starts and ends with a laugh. You did just that, but still told an important message as well. Great job and nice creative take on the topic.
03/08/14
I think this is a great article for reaching our young people. Giving them something to laugh about is a great way to get the point across. Great job!
03/08/14
Would it be unfunny to say you are a breath of fresh air? Ha! A very welcome addition to Faithwriters.

I loved the brashness of this young man, needing to know if Jesus was just as human as he was.

You took a very original take on this and it is spot on well written.

Blessings, Lynn
03/08/14
Without a doubt the most "unique" entry of the bunch! Wildly outrageously different, but somehow you make it work and make us want to continue reading.

You are one of a kind.

God bless~
03/08/14
You had my attention from the first line - but then I think that was the point! Love it.
Without a doubt, you have the talent for making us read and reread to others. I was first, genteely shocked, and survived the possibility. I just love your stuff!
Your characterizations were spot-on for a young generation, and you certainly know how to get a reader's attention. This was written excellently.

As a member of the older generation, I had the greatest urge to have been with those college students to tell them: It's enough for me to know that Jesus walked and talked with his friends, even wept when one died, was discouraged, was tempted (though without sin), held little children on his lap, and so much more, but most especially, that He has been my friend and has "hung with me" through every circumstance.
03/09/14
Your writing style is very readable and enjoyable, no question. In regards to the message of the story, I like that it is thought provoking but I wouldn't agree with the conclusion (or at least what I took the conclusion to be). Namely, that Jesus is so ordinarily human that he would sit around and fart with college guys. I can't imagine my most respected mentors in the faith doing that and so I wouldn't imagine Jesus doing it either. I, instead, think that Jesus would inspire these kids to greater maturity, faith and a deeper sense of what friendship and relationship means. I don't think that this college kid needs a farting Jesus but rather a real and authentic Jesus, Jesus the Man. There is a difference. But, again, I do enjoy your writing and I appreciate anything that provokes thought.
A very well written entry whose topic deserves our attention.

In the beginning Jesus created man and he himself lived in a body of the same form of which he created.

In a unique sense, when we are baptized we are given the Holy Spirit to live within us.

I liked open discussion method of your presentation of this topic.
03/11/14
Ooh I cringed, I laughed, I got uncomfortable! I hear teenagers speak this a lot but never see it penned, hard to read. A brave and clever write!
03/12/14
Your entry certainly is provocative.

It had me asking the question whether Jesus would have discretely passed gas -potentially passing it off - "oh Peter-really?" Or would He have resoundingly ripped one hoping to create male bonding & fellowship...

I have four sons who find gas unquestionably hilarious, but somehow flatulence and Jesus just don't coalesce in my mind.

Got to give you a resounding clap for courage though!

03/14/14
Big question, and I suppose your gas is as good as mine. You threw out the bait with that first question, and you've reeled us in.
It reminds me how a sports chaplaincy friend got through to a cynic when he asked him, "What size do you think Jesus' sandals were - and what do you think his chest expansion was?" The guy had never thought about Jesus actually being a real person instead of a theory that could be rejected, and you've lifted the lid on Jesus' humanity so well.
Great job.