The Official Writing Challenge
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04/29/13
You drew me in right away and I was on the edge of my chair as I finished reading your entry.

Well written and touching.
04/30/13
What an engaging story with a powerful message. Thank you for sharing it.
04/30/13
It's a really nice job on this piece. I think you need a nice job of building the suspense and creating a good characters.

I was confused in the beginning because I thought the title was in quotations and was part of the initial conversation and I couldn't quite put that in and it wasn't until the end that I realized it was the title and not the initial conversation. Instead of using taglines like she said, try using this place to show the character's emotions like this: "What does that mean?" Grace buried her face in her hands.
Hopefully, not only does it show who is speaking, but it also paints a picture for the reader.

You do a great job of building the suspense. Your story was on topic in a couple of different and important ways. You also included a great message too without coming off as preachy. All in all a good story from beginning to end.
05/01/13
Your last sentence - love it! This is such a well written entry, and heart-grabbing throughout

Praise YHWH! Throw a Brick for CLICK!
http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=36947
05/02/13
Congratulations on placing 1st in your level and 26 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=36971&sid=fc51905b09e1c3a6153917b33a0614a4 )
Welcome to level three with your sizzle story! :)
05/03/13
Wonderfully written. You made it effortless to place myself in the MC's position.
Well done and congratualtions on your winning entry.
05/03/13
Congratulations!
05/03/13
Gripping and heart touching. Good job of telling this story. Congratulations on placing first in your level.