The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 597 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/08
Drug use is a very good application of this proverb!

There's a lot of "telling" here--I'd suggest that you take one small incident from Mary's meth days, and write just that incident, providing sensory details and dialogue.

Such a tragic story, and I was happy for the hopeful ending.
02/23/08
A sad story for sure, but it doesn't meet (in my humble opinion) the requirements of this week's topic. There are MANY proverbs that DO fit this story to a "T" however. Addiction problems are prevalent in our world today, and this story was well told, kept the interest of the reader to the end, and definitely made a good point with the referenced scripture. Well done.
02/23/08
So tragic. I would have loved a bit more description - let me see what is going on instead of just telling me.

Great title, and good job with characterization.
02/26/08
I love how gave us hope at the end of your story! 'To lose the whole' implies, 'and gain your soul' -- excellently written!