The Official Writing Challenge
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Well done! This would be a great kids' Sunday School lesson. Realistic dialogue, and your opening was really strong--drew me right in.

Just a suggestion on this sentence: "Outside of church, Amy was sarcastic, cynical, a gossip, and cussed often." It's better to keep the reader inside Amy's head (Such as, "Amy was well aware that outside of church she often used sarcasm and gossip," etc.)This way you maintain the Point of View (POV) and the flow will not be broken.

Great job! I really enjoyed this.
06/05/06
Since you had more words, I would have liked to have seen what happened before this story opened--it almost felt like we dropped in on the scene in the middle.

You did a good job of developing the character of Amy. Very nice and thought-provoking story.
06/05/06
Great dialog! You create believable thought-processing that leads to conviction in the teacher's heart! God bless your writing!
I really enjoyed this one. I've been a leader in children's ministries since I was around 13 and this lesson that you weaved in this story, hit close to home. I wish the teens I lead now would apply the lessons that your MC did. it would make everything much easier! Well written and to the point. I really liked it. Also had very believable dialogue.