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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: THE UGLY TOURIST (07/09/15)
I was visiting my sister in the little seaside town of Pebble Bay. What a lovely little place, and I was blessed with the most wonderful weather – sunny and breezy, just as I like it.
She wasn't going to be home till later that day, so I decided to enjoy her town for a while before joining them for supper.
I walked along the beach, picking up the odd shell. I sat there for a while, smoking my pipe, watching people enjoying the beach along with me. A woman with a little girl passed by me. The little girl was friendly and laughing at everything she looked at, but I must say, the mother seemed to be a bit wary of me – understandable these days, I suppose.
I had my brunch at a quaint diner nearby, over-looking the gentle waves. The best egg and bacon I've had in a while. The waitress was a little stingy with her friendliness. She seemed fine with the other patrons, but I suppose I was a new face.

Pebble Bay is known, besides for its beach of pretty pebbles and shells, for its garden in the centre of town. I decided to spend some time there, as the day had become a little hotter. I thought perhaps I'd find a shady spot where I could relax and read my newspaper. There was an amazing array of garden “rooms”, each with its own character, and of course, different styles of plants. Others were taking advantage of the garden, too, but I now started to wonder what was going on in this town, because I found the people strangely unfriendly, something I would not expect to find in a little town like this. I was glad to find my shady spot, quite tucked away. But then I told myself to get over myself – after all, they had been deep in conversation.

Time ticked on; I decided it was probably time to get to Sister's place. I found my car and took the short drive. It would've been a lovely walk, but as I was staying overnight, this seemed best.
I rang the doorbell, hearing little girl noises inside. They answered the door, and the laughter grew exponentially. I love these girls, they're really bubbly. But whereas I expected them to say “hi” and run off giggling, they just stood and stared at me. My sister soon joined us and was about to lean in for her usual greeting kiss, when she suddenly stopped short, with a weird grin on her face. She looked at her girls for a few seconds, and then they all shrieked with laughter. Seeing my confusion, she pulled me to her hall mirror. What was this pirate look-alike staring back at me? There was Something attached to my nose that looked like a clump of hair sticking out of it, and some sort of Mark on my cheek, in fact from eye to mouth – like a scar – it was even the right colour, a sort of red-purple. Sister handed me a tissue and I proceeded to remove the stuff from my nose – tobacco, would you believe? She then found me a “wet-wipe”, perfect for removing “scars”. All this not before whipping out her cell phone to snap a shot of me in this vile state.

Sister asked, “Have you been to the beach today?” I said that I had indeed been relaxing all over her lovely town that day, the beach being the first place I'd gone to.
She laughed, “And picking up shells and things?”
I nodded.
“I thought so. It seems you've been near one of our sea snails. They tend to wash up onto the beach at this time of year. They give off a reddish purple dye, and it seems you've been drawing on your face with it!” They laughed all over again.
I stood, thoughtful.
“Don't worry”, said Sister, “Let's go get the kettle on.”
“No, I was thinking...I've just remembered... I've been getting funny looks all day.”
They giggled and nodded knowingly at each other.
“And now I know why! I feel like I'm going to be in your local paper tomorrow, with the caption 'THE UGLY TOURIST'.”
They stared at me. And then we all shrieked with laughter.

(FICTION)
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This article has been read 421 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
07/17/15
Wow- this was great! Such a creative story...and it sounded like a true story too!

I loved it. Well done.

God bless~
linzy bruno 
07/18/15
This is delightful, cute and funny! There are a few tiny punctuation errors, but VERY good work! I especially enjoyed the humor:) KEEP WRITING you have IT!
Amy Gaudette 
07/18/15
Written well and clearly, great show of humor.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/22/15
I enjoyed this. You did a nice job of building the suspense. I knew something was going on, but couldn't guess and you held my attention all the way through.

The one thing I might suggest would be to do more showing and less telling. The first half was almost all telling. When the sister opened the door, you started doing more showing. For example, you could do more showing in the beginning like this: Inhaling deeply, I tilted my head upwards as the wind tickled my face. What a perfect day. My sister sure is lucky to live in Pebble Beach. It's such a lovely town.

That's just a quick take to show you what I meant. Overall though I think you did a great job. Your fresh take on the topic pulled me in. Even though ugly tourist means rude, you still managed to show that definition of ugly with the actions of others and simultaneously showed the more typical definition of ugly. I think that was quite creative. You kept me entertained the whole read. I truly enjoyed this.