Pedestrian Galaxy Exploration | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Pedestrian Galaxy Exploration | Previous Challenge Entry
By Trace Pezzali
10/18/14
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Today you are presented with the opportunity to pursue the noble endeavour of Pedestrian Galaxy Exploration.

I demonstrate for you the Ultra-Transporter range of skin products that make it possible for individuals to traverse the galaxy without the need of a vehicle.

This Magic Transport Application Balm is applied to the forehead, to the centre of your chest, and both shoulders. Transportation occurs within minutes. If not, then the MTAB will not work at all. This may be because of your particular skin type, or the strength of the brew is insufficient for your amount of body mass.

I must deviate here, and discuss another option available to you, which is in the unlikely form of slime. Though slime is found in a variety of colors, green slime in particular must be mentioned. Despite rumours to the contrary, green slime comes not from the gizzards of earth-bound monsters, nor as by-product from ghost, but rather it is evidence of alien life-forms on this planet. This slime is the equivalent of our own Magic Transport Application Balm; therefore, if ever out of supplies, try the green haphazard waste of slime. You never know where it will get you.

Incidentally, yellow slime can aid rather than abet you. Particular forms of yellow slime which are excreted from the common Spinifex worm are a good source of food if lacking nourishment. This slime can also cure canine baldness.

Be warned: fresh red slime from the large Cyber slugs found on planet Vernon will give off enough toxic gas to cause your retinas to burn if within 2 feet of this discarded matter. It is wise to avoid these deposits.

Now, back to our discussion on the Ultra-Transporter range. In my hand I hold a precious jar of Second Skin. This incredible barrier acts as an invisible shield to wherever it is applied. It protects against all forms of physical trespass – from environment to violent force. These jars are well-sought after and closely guarded, for the active ingredient in its pure liquid form is located in only one space-pocket of the known galaxy. Many wars have been fought to gain control over mining this resource, but the Sovereign Star Conglomerate maintains its hold.

Before actively partaking in Pedestrian Galaxy Exploration, the enthusiast must be prepared. Rarely will you reach the destination you expect, so pack wisely for all terrain and conditions. Unless you are single-minded, it is probable unexpected thoughts will intrude. It is your desire that determines your destination. Because result stems from both fear and hope, you will be confronted by the real motives of your heart. This consideration has made a coward of even the most intrepid explorer, for only a few brave souls wish to confront their true nature.

Are you brave enough?

Whilst you ask yourself this question, please take time to view the Sovereign Star Brochure in front of you which provides details on all products available in this Ultra-Transporter range of creams and travel accessories. All purchases include a free copy of the book “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” – an invaluable resource. The order form is located at the back of the brochure.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for your time today. Please come and speak to me if you have any questions.

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