Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Question (05/24/12)
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TITLE: Time For Tanner | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jase Rosenburg
05/30/12 -
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“Not right now son, I’m busy.”
“Dad’s always busy,” Tanner muttered to the dog as he walked away.
It seemed like everyone was always busy. No one ever had time. Tanner was determined to find someone to play with though. He decided to ask his big brother.
“Eric, will you play with me?”
“Can’t you see I’m on the phone? Get lost!” Eric shouted.
Tanner looked down at his dog. He decided to take a walk around the back yard and explore. Rexxy loved to explore with Tanner. During the summer they were outside almost every day finding new adventures to go on.
They sat together underneath the shade tree after hours of playing. Tanner rubbed his hands through Rexxy’s fur.
“You’re such a good boy Rexxy. I wish you could talk. No one has time for me.”
Tanner waited on his mom to get home from her shopping trip. He was sure she would have time to play with him.
He walked into the kitchen just as she was coming in the door. Her arms were loaded down with groceries and he tugged on her shirt tail.
“Mommy, I have a question.”
“Can it wait? I have to get these groceries put away and then I have to start dinner.”
Tanner sighed as he walked to his bedroom. He sprawled out across his bed and stared up at his glow-in-the dark star stickers that were stuck to his ceiling. He couldn’t figure out why everyone was always so busy. He hid his head in his pillow and He drifted off to sleep.
“Wake up Tanner. It’s time to eat,” his mom’s voice called.
He jumped up out of bed and ran into the kitchen. Everyone had already fixed their plates and headed off in different directions. His plate was sitting on the table waiting for him. He ate alone.
After he finished, he went into the living room. His mom and dad were watching TV. He crawled up between them and looked at them both.
“Can play with me now?”
“After our show,” they said in unison.
He climbed down off of the couch and went back to his room. The next time he saw his parents, they were coming to tuck him in. As they were getting ready to turn out the light, he said, “Mom, Dad, can we play now?”
“Maybe tomorrow, it’s bed time. Good night, we love you.”
As he lay there in the dark, he couldn’t help but feel frustrated. No one ever had time for him. They were always too busy. He got up and knelt down beside his bed and prayed.
“God, it’s me Tanner. Do you have time for me? No one else does, and I would understand if YOU were busy. I just have one simple question. Can you make more time? Cause no one has any. Amen.”
After he was finished with his prayer he climbed back into bed.
Tanner’s mom said to his dad, “Do you realize how quickly Tanner is growing?”
“Too quickly. We never spend enough time with him.”
“Let’s take the day off tomorrow and take him to the zoo. He will love that,” said his mother.
God answered Tanner’s prayer. From that day forward, there was always time for Tanner.
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Tanner's prayer was special. You seemed to be able to get in that little boy's mind. Good job.
The only part I might have red ink for is the ending. You didn't need to tell the morale of the story because you already showed the reader the lesson with your brilliant storytelling. I might even go as far as having it end with the pray but definitely leave of the last line.
Your beginning drew me right in and before long I wanted to reach through the screen, hug Tanner and play a game with him. This is one of my favorites!