The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/12
This touched my heart, and brought a tear to my eyes. Very powerful point of how "busy" families are today, sometimes getting lost in the "world" that they forget what is really important. Thank you. I loved the prayer and how quickly God answered Tanner's prayer. Great job.
God bless~
06/01/12
This is a very sweet, touching piece. It is well written and fits the theme.

Tanner's prayer was special. You seemed to be able to get in that little boy's mind. Good job.
This is a fabulous entry! So well written. I REALLY loved the line about asking God to make more timea because no one has any. SUPERB!
I like this article, it really hit home. I had to ask myself, am I that busy or am I just making excuses? You made me take time to look at my priorities. Thank you!
I love this story. I'm sure many parents will blush as they see a bit of themselves in the parents. I've had a chronic illness for most of my kids' lives. It has helped me appreciate every minute with my family. When my youngest was 8 she announced she was glad I was sick because otherwise I would always be at work like her friends' moms.

The only part I might have red ink for is the ending. You didn't need to tell the morale of the story because you already showed the reader the lesson with your brilliant storytelling. I might even go as far as having it end with the pray but definitely leave of the last line.

Your beginning drew me right in and before long I wanted to reach through the screen, hug Tanner and play a game with him. This is one of my favorites!
06/05/12
Ahhhh...I'm so glad Tanner's prayer was answered. And Shann is right. You'll learn to not insult the reader's intelligence the more you write. It comes with practice. You did a wonderful job though! I love little Tanner!
06/07/12
This was such a sweet story, but sad in a sense that no one had time for Tanner. This, unfortunately, is the case in so many homes today. Your story is a reminder that we must always make time not only for family, but for any one who comes into our lives. I think you had a vision for your story and were successful in seeing that vision develop. You did an excellent job on this story.
06/07/12
Congrats! God Bless~
Thank you all so much for the great and helpful comments! They are greatly appreciated!