Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Empty and Full (06/04/09)
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TITLE: Safe Haven | Previous Challenge Entry
By Charlotte Touchton
06/09/09 -
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Her Aunt had to move away to live with her daughter when she became ill and unable to live by herself.
Her heart was full of wonderful memories of the once beautiful house. She remembered sitting in the swing on the big front porch sipping lemonade and visiting with her cousins.
She was still deep in thought about the house while preparing dinner and didn’t hear her husband come into the kitchen. “Honey, are you all right? You’ve been peeling that same potato for five minutes.” He asked, a little concerned.
Startled, Kelly nearly dropped the potato and the peeler. “Oh, Yes I’m fine; I was just thinking about Aunt Mary and her house being all empty and needing to be fixed up.”
“I just wish there was something we could do to fix it up for her.” Kelly said longingly.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about that too. But, even if we fix it up it’s still going to be empty and I just can’t see putting that much money into it if it’s not going to be occupied.” Her husband said.
Kelly smiled as an idea suddenly popped in her mind.
“Wait a minute; I’ve been wanting to have a safe place for the neighborhood kids to get together and hang out instead of being out on the streets getting into trouble”
“Now wait a minute” her husband stopped her. “I admire you for wanting to do something for the neighborhood kids but there’s a lot involved in that. And, what if Aunt Mary won’t allow you to do that?”
Kelly thought about it for a few minutes. She knew he was probably right but she didn’t want to give up on the idea yet!
She looked at him pleadingly, “What if I talk to her about it and see if she will agree to it; then will you help me fix it up?”
He shook his head at her in amazement. “You are something else, I can’t say no to you and you know that don’t you? All right if she agrees I’ll see what I can do.”
“Really?” She asked as she jumped up and down with excitement. “Thank you Honey, I’m going to call her right now. I can’t wait to see it all fixed up again and full of happy kids having fun.”
He grabbed her as she reached for the telephone, “Now hold on a minute, there’s plenty of time for that. Right now I’m starving. That house is not the only thing that’s empty right now.”
“Oh Honey, I’m so sorry I completely forgot about supper in all the excitement.”
After supper they sat on the couch together and bowed their heads in prayer. They asked for wisdom and guidance in opening the house up for the neighborhood kids. They wanted it to be a safe haven for them.
Kelly hung up the telephone after she talked to Aunt Mary about her plans for the house if it was all right with her.
Her husband lowered the newspaper he was reading and asked, “Well what did she say?”
She looked at him for a few minutes and then jumped in his arms with joy. “She said she thought it was a wonderful idea. She would love for the house to be full of kids feeling safe and cared about.”
“All right I’ll start making some phone calls in the morning and we’ll get started.” He said laughing at her.
Kelly felt overwhelmed with joy. It would be so nice to see Aunt Mary’s house fixed up and full of life again.
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You might polish up the punctuation and capitalization with the dialogue just a bit. Such as: "I'm here," he said.
Rather than: "I'm here." He said.
I want to know what happened next in the story! Good job.