The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/16/14
I love this story! As I read it, I believe you touched on a lot different things that complicate marriages today! It also brings to light that Satan hates marriages and will do everything to mess them up!

And I loved how you showed how a church should work in those situations.

Well rounded piece, and beautifully written!
This was an interesting way to put characters we don't always think about into view.

The story shows some of the steps/situations that can divide husband and wife.
I love the idea behind this. You start off with a great conflict and a sense of suspense where the reader almost wants to feel bad for the demon because we know the truth, he picked the wrong side.

The dialog in the beginning was great. I wish you had included more of how the demons were communicating, maybe one strokes his beard or clicks his talon-like nails together in a creepy way.

When you switched to the couple you fell into doing more telling than showing. I think you were running low on words. You did such a great job of showing with dialog that I'd have loved to seen the couple talk.

You nailed the topic for sure. You were quite creative and your start piqued my interest right away. Your ending was a delight and left me smiling. I totally enjoyed it. God bless. ;)
08/18/14
Wonderful testiment to how the "bad guys" are behind the scenes trying to stir things up in our lives. Beautifully written! Keep up the great work!
08/18/14
Unique, interesting and a brilliant piece of writing!

Well done story with powerful messages along the way.

God bless~
Congratulations! Happy Dance!
08/21/14
Congrats!

God bless~