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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Husband and Wife (08/08/14)

TITLE: Sorry, Charlie
By Trudy Newell
08/14/14


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“Boss, we’re in trouble!”

“What’s the problem, Charlie?”

“It’s Brad and Kim.”

“What! I thought things were going great. Weren’t they getting a divorce for incompatibility?”

“But, Boss, Kim met Patsy and they had coffee together.”

“Don’t ‘Boss’ me! I told you to keep her away from Patsy. She’s dangerous! One of the enemy’s warriors. How did that happen?”

Hothead glared at Charlie. Charlie trembled as he explained how the enemy had put a hedge around Kim.

“Someone must have been praying, Boss.”

“How many times have I told you our enemy is sneaky! Charlie, it is important that we break up homes and marriages. Don’t give up. Come up with a plan ‘B,’ or the Big ‘B’ (Beelzebub) will be talking to you.”

“Kim still struggles with the ‘S’ word (submission). She thinks it means to be Brad’s puppet. Bill cramps her style. She loves her high-power job, and is very career oriented. This doesn’t leave her much time or energy to work on her marriage. She loves Brad, but doesn’t know how to communicate with him.”

“What about Brad?”

“He doesn’t understand Kim’s needs. He’s far too busy keeping ahead at work. Like Kim, his energy and strength are gone by the time he gets home. He tends to criticize Kim for not keeping the house in order and wishes she would cook more often. Brad also has his eye on one of the gals at work, and uses his computer to access the most interesting stuff. So far Kim hasn’t found out about that.”

“Okay, Charlie. Stir the pot! It sounds like there’s enough going on to keep the marriage off kilter.”

During the next few weeks God was at work doing some amazing things with Brad and Kim. First of all, Brad was under conviction about his disobedience to the Lord. He went to Pastor Rob to seek counsel. Together they set up a plan of accountability. Kim could not believe the transformation.

At the same time Kim had times with Patsy which opened her eyes to the high calling of being Brad’s wife. Her attitude changed completely.
Then Brad took Kim on a surprise weekend away. It was the first time they had really talked with each other in years. They read the Bible together, prayed together, and enjoyed each other’s company in a new way. During this time Brad shared his failures. It came as a shock to Kim that he was watching porn on the web. They cried together and recommitted themselves to the Lord and each other.

It was a bit complicated to work through what they would do now. Lots of changes needed to be made. They discussed Kim’s job. They discussed the long hours Brad was working. They discussed their expensive lifestyle.

After their weekend away, Brad and Kim talked with Pastor Rob and Patsy. The following Sunday they publically recommitted themselves to the Lord. The whole church was thrilled, and began praying for them.

“Boss, I need help! Those Christians are praying.”

“Charlie, that’s YOUR problem! Why didn’t you step in and distract the believers from getting serious with the Lord, especially about Brad and Kim?”

Later, Hothead came up to Charlie with a smirk. “Charlie, you’re not much of a cook. Even after six millennia you haven’t learned how to stir the pot. The Big ‘B’ wants to see you. Believe me, it’s not ‘us’ who’s in trouble, it’s you! Sorry, Charlie.”


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This article has been read 67 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jason Barnett08/16/14
I love this story! As I read it, I believe you touched on a lot different things that complicate marriages today! It also brings to light that Satan hates marriages and will do everything to mess them up!

And I loved how you showed how a church should work in those situations.

Well rounded piece, and beautifully written!
Larry Whittington08/16/14
This was an interesting way to put characters we don't always think about into view.

The story shows some of the steps/situations that can divide husband and wife.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/17/14
I love the idea behind this. You start off with a great conflict and a sense of suspense where the reader almost wants to feel bad for the demon because we know the truth, he picked the wrong side.

The dialog in the beginning was great. I wish you had included more of how the demons were communicating, maybe one strokes his beard or clicks his talon-like nails together in a creepy way.

When you switched to the couple you fell into doing more telling than showing. I think you were running low on words. You did such a great job of showing with dialog that I'd have loved to seen the couple talk.

You nailed the topic for sure. You were quite creative and your start piqued my interest right away. Your ending was a delight and left me smiling. I totally enjoyed it. God bless. ;)
Michele Fleming 08/18/14
Wonderful testiment to how the "bad guys" are behind the scenes trying to stir things up in our lives. Beautifully written! Keep up the great work!
CD (Camille) Swanson 08/18/14
Unique, interesting and a brilliant piece of writing!

Well done story with powerful messages along the way.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/21/14
Congratulations! Happy Dance!
CD (Camille) Swanson 08/21/14
Congrats!

God bless~