The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/11/13
Interesting Miracle story. Please lose the exclamation marks - far too many. The story moved along, with an expected ending although somewhat confused in the middle. Similar names often cause such a situation. Keep working, your stories are interesting.
05/11/13
A touching and moving story, Jehovah-Jireh - our great provider, and so it is. God is constant. I loved this uplifting inspirational entry. Nicely done.

God bless~
This is a great story that shows how the power of prayer really does work. I enjoyed your characters.

You had some minor errors that a proofreader would catch like in the second paragraph, there shouldn't be any punctuation after the word after.

I can tell you are working on showing. The line when the child stamps his foot is an excellent example. Actually I may have started with that because a good action line will pull the reader in faster. Another way to show is instead of using taglines like the girl jubilated or she agreed or he said would be to show the reader with narrative lines. For example: "Oh goody!" The little girl clapped her hands and jumped up and down.

Overall you did a nice job with this. The message is a great one that we all need reminding of from time to time.
05/14/13
What a wonderful testimony to what God can do when we ask for a miracle. I loved this story. Thank you for sharing and keep writing. Your words are sincere and heartfelt.
05/14/13
Thank you for reminding us of how God provides in times of need. If I'm correct, english is not your primary language, so hats off for doing what many shy away from.

There are a few grammar and spelling errors.

My favorite part of the story comes when Marie gives thanks to God even when He does not provide dinner for the family. A real statement of faith!
Heart filling as well as tummy filling. Enjoyable story . . .