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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Drip (04/25/13)

TITLE: Gentle Drizzle
By Sarah Dirk


Kayla shoved her car door shut and hurried toward the church door. Trying to dodge the gentle rain drops wouldn't work, so she gave up and ran for the wooden doors. Most days she enjoyed the rain, even getting drenched, but today the dark skies matched her mood.

The melody of Seek Ye First met her ears, and a soft smiled crept onto the corner of her mouth. She loved that song. Slipping into the sanctuary, Kayla slid into a back pew, straightened her skirt with a practised hand and settled in to watch.

Her best friend was getting baptized, and Kayla spotted Cora through the crowd. The blond-haired beauty was sitting at the front, nervously twisting the paper in her hands. Her testimony. Kayla could tell she was scared of giving it. Public speaking had always terrified Cora.

Glancing discreetly around the room, Kayla had to smile. So many of Cora's friends had made it for her big day. Of course, her bubbly attitude had made everyone promise to come, and now Cora was probably wishing she had invited less to her celebration. Kayla knew her friend would get through her speech. She had gone through much worse.

Cora had the life that was believed to be only true in the movies. Romance. Scandal. Tears. Pain. Cora had chased one pleasure after another, until she collapsed at the end of her rope, no longer caring to go on.

Which is where Kayla stepped in. Again. Just like she had every other time her friend was in the dumps. She was Cora's support and encouragement, and she pressed the girl into rehab and support groups.

It was during one of those times where Cora decided life was to difficult to go on, that Kayla's prayers for her life long friend were finally answered. Cora gave up trying to live on her own, and asked Christ to lead her at last.

And now? A year later, baptized by the Holy Ghost and on fire for God, Cora was proclaiming her decision.

Kayla watched her friend walk to the pulpit and nervously begin her testimony. She silently struggled with jealousy.

Yes, she was happy for Cora. She could not be more proud of her than she was at this moment. But as all eyes were fixed on the blond-haired beauty, Kayla bit her lip. Jealous. Of Cora. Ever since they were little.

Jealous that everyone always sympathized with Cora, even when Kayla was the one propping her friend up. Jealous that everyone always wanted to be around her, and rarely joked and teased Kayla in the same way. Jealous that everyone forgave her so easily. That Cora now sported an engagement ring while Kayla's hand remained empty.

And now? Jealous of her testimony. God chose to save her and everyone cheered for her. Cora's testimony had passion and fire, making the conversion of Apostle Paul pale in comparison. Jealous that the Spirit of God seemed to drench her friend, while Kayla only felt a gentle drizzle, sometimes only a drip.

Kayla fidgeted and tried to focus on Cora. Her face was alive with passion and joy, and Kayla bit back a sigh.

Glancing out the window, her eyes took in the rain. It was pouring now. No gentle drizzle; instead, a torrent of grey.

But something caught her eye as she tried to turn back to Cora.

The rain was dripping off the side of the church. Not pouring. Dripping gently, drop by drop. One crystal piece after another. Quietly watering the flowers blocked from the rain.



Kayla refocused on her friend with a smile.

Cora was just finishing. “I want to close by giving a small thanks to you, my friends. I wouldn't have made it without you.” Cora glanced around until her eyes rested on Kayla.

“You poured into my life, little by little. Never giving up. Being steady for me. Thanks.”

Kayla hugged her waist as she watched Cora step into the baptism pool. She smiled. Wasn't it John Newton himself, who said that God sometimes does His work by a gentle drizzle, not a pouring rain. Drip by drip. Giving enough to keep us trusting in Him?

Cora came up from the water with a shout of joy, and Kayla surged forward to wrap her arms around her friend.

God could decide on how to best arrange her life. And if it was different from Cora's, so be it. He knew what was best.

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This article has been read 224 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W05/07/13
Beautiful story. A little tight editing and this one has potential for winning. Thanks for posting.
Yvonne Blake 05/07/13
Great message! I was often jealous of other "exciting" testimonies. I wish someone had taught me the lesson of gentle drizzle when I was younger. Thank you for writing this. I hope it blesses others who have had the same thoughts.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/07/13
I so totally enjoyed this story. You did a delightful job with the pacing and I could feel the roller coaster of emotion that the MC was on.

The only suggestion I might offer would be to do more showing and less telling. It's not an easy concept to get and will be something that many writers spend their entire careers trying to perfect. For example this line is all telling: Kayla could tell she was scared of giving it.
Instead show the reader how Kayla could tell she is scared with something like this: Kayla watched as her friend fidgeted in her seat, twisting the program around and around as her shoulders trembled slightly.

Overall, though I think you did a nice job. I especially enjoyed the rain metaphor. You did a nice job of weaving the topic throughout the story. It was an interesting read from beginning to end.
Vince Martella05/07/13
Very nicely done. This story kept my attention from beginning to end. Really nice flow from paragraph to paragraph. Loved the gentle rain watering the flowers part. I agree this one has definite placing potential. Keep on writing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/09/13
Congratulations on placing 9 in your level! (The highest rankings are posted on the message boards)