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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Accent (02/21/13)

TITLE: We're still people
By Devante Tophoney
02/24/13


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Samantha was a british girl. She had a VERY weird accent. She had a kid in her neighborhood that made fun of her for having the accent. He thought she sounded like an annoying clown. This kid was only 3 so he didn't know anything about accents. Samantha tried to convince the kid that she was british, but he wouldn't belive her. Samantha was tired of this. She knew for sure that it would take 2 whole years to stop this. If not, then it would probably never end. One day, when she couldn't take it anymore, she talked to the boy and she said she had an accent. She also said "Just because I have an accent -- doesn't mean I'm not a person." Said Samantha. "Ok," Said the boy. By the time this happened, it had been a year, so the boy was 4. It had ended sooner than Samantha thought it would. She was happy, even if it ended the hard way.


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This article has been read 214 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Judith Gayle Smith03/03/13
Charming!

Loving you in through and because of Jesus, the Christ . . .

Have you "thrown a brick"?
Camille (C D) Swanson 03/05/13
Short but long on meaning and purpose. Nicely done.
God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/05/13
This is a charming little story. I like how you showed the conflict right away. That's a great way to pull your reader into your story.

You had some little errors like British should have a capital B and numbers less than one hundred should be written out. A challenge buddy or a proofreader would help you spot these before submission. You can look on the message boards for one, or perhaps read some stories in levels three or four, and if you see one you really can relate to, then send that person a PM and ask if they would consider being your buddy.

The biggest thing about your story is I wanted to read more. Little things like adding the names and showing ways the girl tried to convince her friend would be great ideas. I really liked that you had the child resolve the topic. Often adults will have an adult resolve the conflict, but for this type of story, they way you did it is the way publishers suggest. Good job.
Devante Tophoney03/07/13
I meant to say 10-year-old girl in the beginning.