The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
Charming!

Loving you in through and because of Jesus, the Christ . . .

Have you "thrown a brick"?
03/05/13
Short but long on meaning and purpose. Nicely done.
God bless~
This is a charming little story. I like how you showed the conflict right away. That's a great way to pull your reader into your story.

You had some little errors like British should have a capital B and numbers less than one hundred should be written out. A challenge buddy or a proofreader would help you spot these before submission. You can look on the message boards for one, or perhaps read some stories in levels three or four, and if you see one you really can relate to, then send that person a PM and ask if they would consider being your buddy.

The biggest thing about your story is I wanted to read more. Little things like adding the names and showing ways the girl tried to convince her friend would be great ideas. I really liked that you had the child resolve the topic. Often adults will have an adult resolve the conflict, but for this type of story, they way you did it is the way publishers suggest. Good job.
I meant to say 10-year-old girl in the beginning.