The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 405 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/17/10
This story really aroused my curiosity. I kept wondering what the speaker had to hide, if anything. Very suspenseful.
09/17/10
This piqued my interest because I recently requested some family history info from my grandma (who is approaching 90) and, to my delight, received it in the mail last week. It is so fascinating to learn about those we came from, isn't it?

Watch your tenses. I noticed in one paragraph you switched from third to first.

Great story - I could really feel the main character's nervousness!
This was a nice story. Personally I'm a big ham and love to speak in public. You really showed me the fears and nerves that most people have. I laughed at the last line.

I did notice once you went from the third person to first. But when telling a true story in the third person I once switched from she to I half- way through; I didn't catch nor did my several proof readers. Finally just before I hit submit I noticed it so I totallyunderstand. Great story overall I look forward to reading more of your stories.
09/20/10
I'm glad that Sue's experience went well. I ended up speaking at my High School graduation. Just before I got up to speak, the boy next to me - "Mr. Drama Club". Asked to see my notes. I, being the trusting individual that I am, handed them over. Mr. Drama Club stuffed them in his pocket and smiled as the principal called my name to speak. I could have killed Mr. Drama Club, but I was shaking too bad from nerves. Things ended up well, and I actually thanked Mr. Drama Club after I was finished.