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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Writer's Challenge (NOT the FaithWriters Challenge) (06/10/10)
For the fifth time since midnight, Brianna was changing Joel's bedding. "Please let him stop being sick," she spoke into the darkness. Last week, it was Jessica, almost 3. Now, it was Joel. She prayed the baby didn't get it. Brianna didn't think she could wash another sheet or disinfect another doorknob. She had no idea, before becoming a mom, that she could feel this tired. It wasn't just fatigue, though; and that's what worried her. She'd given up inside. She knew she was going through the motions, in more ways than one. It took everything in her just to get out of bed in the morning. She'd gotten saved when she'd gone forward at Camp Joy in second grade. But, lately God hadn't seemed close, almost not real. She couldn't seem to find time to read her Bible, and her prayers seemed to go no further than the ceiling.

Exhausted, she carried Joel back to his bed and lay him down. She gently brushed his hair off his forehead, where droplets of moisture lay mingled with curls. Blotting the beads of perspiration from his forehead with a cool washcloth, that feeling of hopelessness came over her like an ocean wave crashing against the rocks. Those waves were crashing in more and more frequently, it seemed. The moonlight shining in the window shed light across the bed and table. Brianna reached over and picked up the card standing there, received after giving birth to Joel. It wasn't like her to save it. Looking down at the sentiment written on the front, emotion overtook her. Without warning, sobs rose up from deep inside somewhere, filling her throat, threatening to overflow. Covering her mouth, and gulping back the sobs, she quickly composed herself, lest she wake her sleeping son. Brushing the tears off her face, she shook herself, grateful for the darkness of the room. "What am I going to do? I'm going crazy. I can't keep doing this." It hadn't been an easy birth--there'd been complications--the days following were tense with worry and many tears. Joel had come through. She was always surprised by the magnitude of emotion that came over her and how little it took to reduce her to a puddle of tears. Turning back to the card, she held it up to the moonlight, and read the expression inside, reminded of why she'd saved it. The writer had captured her very heart. It never failed to make her feel better. Every time she read it, the words gave her hope again.

Joel's steady, rhythmic breathing told her she could finally leave him to sleep. She'd never known you could feel this tired. Her body ached. She hated that feeling she always got in her stomach when she was sleep deprived. Now, it was becoming routine. Walking down the hall and past the Family Room, she entered and mindlessly began picking up the toys and straightening the magazines. A title caught her eye on one: "Ten Spiritual Lessons Learned Through Suffering". Probably not what she needed now, she thought, yet she found herself opening to the article, in spite of herself. Skimming down the page, she slumped down onto the sofa. Interspersed within the writing were some of her favorite Bible verses. 1 Peter 5:7: "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." Philippians 4:6: "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." As she read, it felt as though the writer knew her so well, that Brianna looked over both shoulders, feeling as though someone was watching her. The advice was really more of a Bible Study--and she knew it was just what the doctor ordered. She cried again as she read, but this time her soul felt encouraged. She knew what she needed to do. She left the magazine open and got down on her knees, crying out from her heart to the Lord for help. Rising from her knees, she made a mental note to read the article again, this time looking up the verses--but not now--in the morning.

Now, she headed for bed, and as she sank into a deep sleep, she offered up from her heart and lips a word of thanks to the Lord.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Brian Haugrud
06/17/10
AHHHHHHHH the joys of raising kids. I won't say to much as my wife probably did all the unpleasant things that needed attending. Could feel your heart in your writing. When you named Camp Joy, it brought back memories of a Camp Joy we have here in west central MN.
Sarah Heywood
06/17/10
As a mother, I could really relate to your story. I know what it is to ache with fatigue, both externally and internally. So often I haven't gone to where I should have gotten my strength - God's Word - and I'm always worse for it. Thank you for the good reminder. I loved this!
Mildred Sheldon
06/20/10
Thank you for a heart wrenching story of a mother's love. I still remember all those late nights and trying to function and maintain my sanity. Very well written. Keep writing and God bless.