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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Editor (05/27/10)
Dear Sir:
In the beginning the waters you created - indeed you wrote the plan
For them to be bright and blue, crystal clear and clean.

Edit this mess oh God we plead.

Do you cry? Is your heart broken?
An oil spill – or not quite the case; human error – a disgrace.

Edit this mess oh God we plead.

There are misspellings; paragraphs are not well constructed.
They’ve over used some adverbs and run-on sentences abound.

Edit this mess oh God we plead.

There are no agents of action; the passive voice is spoken.
Subjects and verbs do not agree; pronouns are indefinite.

Edit this mess oh God we plead.

People cry – their livelihoods now unsure; wild life dies – natural resources are in ruins.
With semantics we cry out; if only their actions spoke louder.

Edit this mess oh God we plead.

With all due respect to our Commander in Chief, “it’s an assault,” he said.
Isn’t it more like mass murder?

Edit this mess oh God we plead.
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This article has been read 820 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Dusti (Bramlage) Zarse
06/04/10
I really feel like you've poured out your heart, here. And never fear, God is near to us, and does hear from heaven. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14
Mildred Sheldon
06/06/10
Who better then the greatest editor to hear your plea. I enjoyed this immensely. Thank you for a beauitful poem and God bless.
Nancy Sullivan 
06/07/10
Very timely,and you gave voice to so many heartbroken people, especially those who are closest to this tragedy. Our God cares. Great job.
Jan Ackerson
06/08/10
A modern psalm, written with heartfelt emotion.

Ironically, I thought that the middle segments that contained the metaphor of actual manuscript editing didn't really add to the impact of the poem. They seemed isolated from the parts about the water.

I share your distress about this horrible situation, and I really felt this poem.
Ruth Clowater
06/09/10
"Edit this mess" has so many layers to it! Great job.