The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/04/09
Love the lyrical flow of your first paragraph and it has very good descriptions.
There should be shorter paragraphs so your piece will read easier...suggest dividing the 1st paragraph into two at "I beg You in prayer..." The 2nd large paragraph could be divided into the four "seasons" of a person's life.Enjoyed reading your piece.
Loved your piece. The descriptions of how God changes things was beautiful. I would have enjoyed this more if you had placed each part in its own paragraph. Well written
09/09/09
The first paragraph was lyrical and lovely as a prayer. I was a little lost in the second part and felt as if the flow has been lost a few times. As others have mentioned, double-spacing between paragraphs helps readers' eyes immensely. Good work.