Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)
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TITLE: A Church Home | Previous Challenge Entry
By nicole wian
12/10/07 -
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This conversation was getting just the merest bit touchy. Maybe that's why they warn against discussing politics and religion, thought Carrie who had been keeping quiet. She wasn't a church goer and this was exactly why. Everybody seemed to think their church had the monopoly on faith.
Soon, the talk shifted to something safer, back to the children. But each woman went home wondering what it was about the church topic that had caused them to feel on edge, why the subject was sticking with them. All week Carrie, especially, thought about the conversation. The following Monday she had to say something. They were all seated, talking about the school year which was about to start, sharing where the best deals for school supplies were. Carrie waited for the right moment and when there was a break in conversation said, “You know, I was thinking about it all last week and I don't really get what the deal was with you guy's and your churches. Isn't church church? Isn't it where you go to worship and learn about God and don't you all believe in the same God? You're all Christians right?” No one said anything right away. They all nodded sheepishly and finally Haily said. “Yeah, you're right. Jen, I'm sorry I said those things about the Lutheran Church.” “That's okay. And I would try yours, it's just I like a certain style.” “No, I understand. I'm that way too. But really, Carrie's right. God comes to where we are, it doesn't matter what denomination we choose.” “And really, The Church isn't about the building,” Kelly added. “The Church is the body of Christ. His followers. And that's all of us. We shouldn't get caught up on the type of church we go to. We should be focusing on where our hearts our and on our relationship with Christ.”
Carrie felt relieved to be hearing her friends admit this. It gave her a better feeling about the whole church thing. She didn't add anything more to their conversation but she found she felt more open to giving Church a try. A few weeks later, she went to the local Baptist Church with her husband. And she liked it and she found that God was there as well, waiting to welcome her into the body, The Church.
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I echo the suggestions above, and would add a suggestion to work on adding little sensory details so that your story is more "showing" and less "telling."
I like the fact that the women's consciousness was prickled by their first conversation.