“Adam, stop digging up your nose!” I yelled. “Go get your sister’s doll out of the fish tank.”
“Ashley, go wash that lipstick off of your face. Now!”
I sounded like a sergeant barking orders at a line of petty officers. I was on the phone for five minutes, okay, maybe it was twenty-five minutes. Why do kids momentarily lose their minds when their parents pick up a telephone?
“How many times do I have to tell you that running in the house is not allowed??
“Take that toilet paper off of you. You are not a mummy.”
I have been married for three years, now. I was single with no kids and my husband was divorced with two kids. Needless to say, I instantly became a mother and a wife in one sweep. You can’t beat that deal.
“Ashley, that is a litter box, not a sand box. Get out of there.”
The kids live with their dad. Their mother could not deal with the pressure of raising children. She decided to leave everyone behind about five years ago. Ashley was two and Adam was four. I’m the only mother they really know.
“Who put the turtle in the sink?”
“I don’t know.” Sang Ashley.
“Not me.” Adam proudly proclaimed.
“One of you did it. I didn’t do it and your dad didn’t do it because he is at work. From now on, you guys don’t get sweets before you go to bed. Get this turtle out of here so I can disinfect this sink.”
“You get it Adam, you put it in there.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
“That’s enough. I don’t care who did it. Just get Mr. Pickles out of the sink so I can clean it.”
I gave them the look. They don’t like the look. They know that punishment is on the other side of the look.
As I cleaned the sink, I began to think. I went from single to married with children and pets. That was a huge transition. It was tough at first, but now, I couldn’t imagine life without them.
Although they are quite a challenge, the kids add a bit of spice to my life. They cause me to do more things than I did when I was single. I pray more, to stay grounded. I read more, to learn as much as I can about parenting. I write more, to keep from seeing a shrink. I yell more. No explanation needed there.
“Mom, he has my cd player.”
“Go to bed!”
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