The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/09/07
I enjoyed reading about your non-traditional ministry.

Take a look at your sentence structure--you have quite a few run-on sentences, and also several that have the "as" construction: I did something as I did something else. If you vary your sentences, and avoid run-ons, your story will have a better flow.

I so much appreciate what you are doing to fish for souls!
A good job of showing how God leads us in our ministries if we will let him. Needs a little tightening to flow better.