Humor
Part 2: eHarmony and the First Dysfunctional Couple
Adam stood up, rubbing the back of his shaggy head pitifully.
"Ouch! Why did you make me do that, Woman?"
A tinkling laugh ensued. Woman gently pushed some
long, wild strands of her hair across one bare, sunlit shoulder.
Several other strands lay across mounds of blossoming flesh.
The plumpness underneath those singular strands made
Adam feel very strange. He became anxious, and impatient.
He suddenly wanted to see the Lord on His way. Odd. He
had never felt that way, before. He and the Lord had
always gotten along so well, together. At least, up until now.
"Is something wrong, Adam?" The Lord immediately asked.
Adam's impatience now coupled with irritation, and
embarrassment. The Lord seemed to know what he was thinking;
oh, great! Adam suddenly wondered if there might be another
Garden around, somewhere. His head was swimming, perhaps
from the bump against the tree, but he was extremely aware
of a desire to be alone with this.......this new creature.
"I......." Adam cleared his throat. He looked down the grassy
path, to the clear running stream nearby. He was terribly
thirsty, and longed for a sip of cool water. But, he didn't
want to take his eyes away from his Lord's newest creation.
"I'm going to call her woman." Adam frowned. His own
voice sounded like he had eaten one of those bitter lemons
growing in that clump of trees, byond the stream. Again,
he cleared his throat, and tried to sound more...... manly.
What was manly? Perhaps, later, he could talk to the Lord
about it. They had seemed to be able to talk about anything,
that is, up until now.
"Woman?" She said, and smiled. Again, she seemed to
be laughing at him. Woman turned her satiny
back on Adam, and the Lord. She reached out, and plucked
a couple of daisies that were blooming all around her small,
bare feet. Then, she put both of her supple arms up, and
tucked the delicate flowers behind one of her tiny ears.
Woman's hair was now hanging carelessly over her smooth
back. Adam didn't realize that his mouth was completely
open, and that a tiny drop of spit was lying on the corner
of his lower lip. There was a sickening feeling in the pit of
his belly. It was nauseating, and at the same time, very
pleasurable. His deeper breathing caused his ribs to expand.
For a moment, Adam was aware of the one sore spot, but he
didn't care about it now.
"Adam?"
Adam turned, bug eyed, to look at his Lord. "Who? Oh,
uh.....yeah. Yes, Lord?"
"I will leave you two alone, to get to know each other."
The Lord turned, and walked away. Adam could have sworn
that he heard a deep, rumbling chuckle, as He disappeared
into the mists of the inner Garden.
********************************************
Woman slowly turned away, also. Her bare toes skimmed
the daisies, as she began to walk in the opposite direction.
She didn't seem particularly anxious to be around Adam.
In fact, she appeared to barely notice that he was there.
Adam stood there, for a moment, pondering this new
development. The Lord hadn't even introduced them. Was
Woman his helpmate? She looked like him. And, she didn't.
The dissimilar parts of her were aggravatingly obvious.
They made Adam's leg muscles tense convulsively. His feet
seemed to be rooted to the grassy spot. Where was this
creature going? Maybe, the Lord had told her to just help
Adam with all of that confounded animal naming.
Animal naming? Was that it? But, then why had the Lord
made her so.....so.....? Well, she just smelled so good. Her
scent reminded Adam of certain flowers which he had recently
discovered the other day, up on Eden's western slope. They
had smelled sweet, and.....musky.
"Hey! Wait up!" Adam nearly tripped in the dewy wet grass,
running to keep up with her. "Wait! Wait a minute!"
Woman didn't even look back. She just kept walking; her
bare hips swaying as if to some sort of inner rhythm.
The back of her made Adam salivate so much, that he started
drooling, again. Impatiently, he wiped his mouth with the back
of his right hand. It seemed as if he did everything with that
hand.
Something made him stop, suddenly, in the thick grass. For
some reason, which he couldn't comprehend, he ran both sweaty
hands over his wayward locks. What was this about? He had
never given two thoughts to his appearance before. Adam
stood straighter, pushing out his hairy chest, and swallowed.
He defintely needed a drink. Perhaps, before he continued
following this exasperating Woman, he better go down to the
sparkling stream, up ahead. Keeping an eye on Woman's
swaying hips down the path, he walked on.
To Be Continued........
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