Fear drowns out any love in me;
coddling it in favor of neglecting those I would love.
My fear makes me focus on myself;
I see no one beyond me.
Fear is the band holding my mask of Pride in place;
if I fear being hurt, I hide behind prideful anger.
My fear of my sin being found out
becomes prideful self-righteousness.
Sin ruins my eye;
I see the world through it.
Sin taints the window of my soul,
the basis of my thinking and discernment.
In my sinfulness,
I perceive everyone else committing it.
If I am a liar,
I believe everyone else is dishonest.
It is addictive, becoming a practice, a lifestyle;
there it is difficult to leave behind,
and the lie produces the Liar;
thievery, the Thief.
My sin becomes
the centerpiece of my being.
My trap robs me of any possible joy,
knowing I can't be free.
There is no joy for this slave.
I wake up to my deeds,
dreading the day ahead.
All I know is what I am doing,
like the chain to a heavy iron ball;
this, my lingering Guilt.
The pattern goes on and on,
producing nothing of value;
my Do-Nothing Machine.