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Let the Pandas Die Out, Naturalist Says
by Julie Michaelson
09/23/09
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In the beginning
God created
the heaven
and
the earth.
[Genesis 1:1]
**********************
"That guy is a JACKASS,
Lord!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"What a JERK!"
(Spit!)
"Why don't Ya
STICK all those
SCIENTISTS,
into a GIANT PIT?
When are T..H..E..Y,
all gonna go EXTINCT?"
(Spit!)

[SILENCE.]
[PATIENT SIGH.]

(Shout to the ceiling.)
"Are YOU gonna
LISTEN 'ta HIM,
L...O...R....D?"

[PATIENT VOICE.]
"Listen to whom,
child?"

"To that IDIOT!
That SCIENTIST!
That (Mumble!)...
The one,
who wants all
the PANDAS
TO GO EXTINCT?"

[PATIENT GAZE
UPON RUMPLED CHILD
EATING A STOUFFER
MEATLOAF AND MASHED
POTATO DINNER.]

"WELL?
You gonna LISTEN
TO HIM,
LORD?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"HUH?
YOU GONNA
LISTEN TO HIM?"

[SILENCE.]

"And.....EXTINCT,
ALL the.. PANDAS?"

"Who is
The Lord,
child?"

"Well.......I hope,
it's YOU!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]
"You don't know,
Mein kin'der?"

"Yeah."
(Shrug.)
"SOMETIMES!"

[CURIOUS GAZE.]
"Sometimes,
Mein kin'der?"

"Yeah!
That's what I SAID,
LORD!"
(Ornery frown!)
"There's too much BAD
STUFF, goin' on,
in the WORLD!"

"Whose world,
child?"

"Well.....I sure hope,
it ain't that SCIENTIST's
WORLD!
ECH!"
(Mumble!)
"He should.....
....geyen`se' a la'DREY`RDEN*!"

[SIGH.]
"Shhh, child!"

"WHY?
He thinks all those
BEAUTIFUL...
ANIMALS,
should all DIE!"
(Mumble!)
(Curse!)

[QUIET VOICE.]
"Whose world
is it,
My child?"

(Mumble.)
(Look away.)
"Dunno,
Lord."
(Sorrowful glance.)

[QUIET VOICE.]
"Look in your heart,
little one.
Look,
into your heart."
***********************
Then God said,
Let the waters abound
with an abundance
of living creatures...
Let the earth bring
forth
the living creature
according to
its kind..
and
it was so.
[Genesis 1:20-24]


______________________
*(Very sloppy) Yiddish:
'Go to hell!'.
(Author was too angry,
at the time,
to look up the correct
spelling.)

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