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Speaking the Lord's Language
by Julie Michaelson
09/22/09
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For my
sighing
comes before
I eat.
And
my groanings
pout out
like water.
[Job 3:24]
*******************
(Push pillows up.)
(Sigh.)
(Yawn.)
(Silence.)
(Scratch scruffy cat.)

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
[SMILE.]

(Frown!)
(Scrowl up at ceiling.)
"I don't know what
to SAY."

[SMILE.]

"Do OTHER PEOPLE...
complain to YOU,
about THIS?"

"What,
child?"

"PRAYING!
It's......REALLY BORING!"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

"Well......I just keep
SAYIN' the SAME STUFF!"

[CHUCKLE!]
"Am I,
boring
to you,
child?"

"YEAH!
SOMETIMES!"

[LAUGH!]

"Well.....
Ya never SAY ANYTHING,
BACK!"

[WISE GAZE.]
"That's not true,
My beloved."

(Frown.)
"YEAH!
All I hear is.......
No!
No!
And,
NO!"

[SMILE!]

"No and NO!
That's about IT!"

"Then,
you're not
listening,
O, beloved."

(Push another pillow,
under frumpy head.)
"Maybe,
Y'ur talkin'
in HEBREW?
And....
I just don't UNDERSTAND,
what Y'ur SAYIN'?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"You're just
not listening,
My child."

"You keep forgettin'
I'm an AMERICAN,
LORD! I'm an
AMERICAN...JEW!
NOT an ISRAELI!
I'm an AMERICAN!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[LOVING SMILE.]

"And....I understand ENGLISH!
And....MAYBE,
a COUPLE WORDS,
in YIDDISH!
And.....some SPANISH:
only, if Ya speak real SLOW!"

"Entiendes tu?"

"Si! Yo estoy ABURRIDO!"

[LAUGH!]
"You're a burrito,
My beloved?"

(Laugh!)
(Laughing!)
"Uh, UH!
That's not what I SAID!"
(Blow a raspberry up at the
ceiling.)

[CHUCKLE.]
"What is your language,
My precious?"

(Shrug.)
"Very nasal, whiny
.....ENGLISH?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"No,
My little,
precious one."

"Northwest...PHILADELPHIAN?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"No,
My beloved."

(Squint.)
"PENNSYLVANIAN with a
mix 'a SOUTHWEST TEXAN?"

[SMILE!]
"No,
My precious."

(Shout up at ceiling.)
(Point up at ceiling fan.)
"SEE?
Ya ARE GOOD,
AT SAYIN' NO!
SEE?
I TOLD YA,
SO,
LORD!"

[PATIENT SMILE.]
"What am I
telling you,
precious?"

(Yawn.)
(Shrug.)
"I DUNNO....."
(Yawn!)
"This ISN'T gonna
be about one 'a those
PARABLES, again,
IS IT?
Cuz....I never
UNDERSTAND THOSE
THINGS! Like...that
ONE about the FIG TREE!
Or...the OLD PATCHES
ON THE NEW GARMENT!
Or....the SPILLED WINE,
outta the...NEW BOTTLES!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
[VERY QUIET VOICE.]
"Listen,
My beloved."

(Shout.)
"WHAT?"

[QUIET VOICE.]
"What is your
language,
My beloved?"

(Shout to the ceiling.)
"AMERICAN ENGLISH!"

"No,
My beloved."

"Uh, HUH!"

"No
My little one.
I am
your
Language."
**********************
In the day
when
I cried out,
You
answered me.
And
made me bold
with strength
in my soul.
[Psalms 138:3]
[A Psalm of David.]





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