The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME (don’t write about the song) (06/04/15)
The blue and red flashing lights hurt his eyes, blinding him as he glanced in the rearview mirror. Steering the car carefully down the road he couldn’t understand what the source of this lightshow could be. Only when three shrill bleats of the siren sounded did he realize he had a police car on his tail. His fogged mind registered that he was in trouble, but he couldn’t focus enough to make sense of it.

Eventually he pulled over after the officer zoomed up next to him and motioned him to the side of the road. Somehow he got the car in park and waited. A double rapping on the window startled him. He saw the man through the glass making gestures. It came to him that the policeman wanted him to roll down the window.

“You were going ten miles an hour on the expressway. The speed limit is seventy. Let me see your license, please.”

The next morning waves of pain rolled over Thad’s head. Opening his eyes was like swimming in a sea of broken glass that continually pierced his bleeding pupils. His cellmate said, “Buddy, I never seen nobody hurting more than you.”

The next couple of days gave Thad time to reflect. This was his third drunk driving arrest. He snorted in disgust. The third time his father had committed this same offense Thad was riding with him. Right then he’d vowed never to follow his father’s example. Yet here he was.

The pastor of the church he’d attended since he was a child heard of his situation and visited the day before his trial. Thad knew all about Jesus but never could keep all the commandments he felt necessary to be a good person. He knew he was a sinner and tried to follow Him, but daily frustrations and too much drinking haunted Thad.

Pastor Ross said, “You’re following in the footsteps of your father and his before him. Thad, this pattern is called generational sin. God promised that the sins of the fathers would visit even the third and fourth generation. You can’t stop the curse on your own.”

This was a new concept to Thad and he asked Pastor Ross to tell him more. “You have to know Jesus, not just know about Him. When you come to that saving relationship through faith, that which you’ve been striving for in your own power all these years, then God’s blessings will pour out on you. He’ll send His angels to watch over you and break the curse. Surrender to Him, Thad, and see what He does in your life.”

That night as his pending day in court loomed over him, Thad read the account of the Pharisee Nicodemus meeting with Jesus. “You must be born again.” He had given his life to the Lord when he was five, eleven, and sixteen, but had he ever been born again? Pastor Ross said he had to repent and surrender his will to Jesus. Had he ever done that? Thad looked into the future and saw a wasted life if something didn’t change. He didn’t want to end up like his father who’d spent his life in and out of jail and recently died of liver failure. He’d gone to church every week yet alcohol had killed him. No angels watching over him. Something was wrong with his father’s faith, just as it was with his.

Repentance. Surrender. His life wasn’t working out real well the way he was going. This had to be more than trying on a new set of clothes. If he could take the shirt and pants off that meant he wasn’t committed. Surrender meant giving up everything. All in or nothing.

Thad cried out, “Jesus I’ve sinned against You. Save me. You died for me and I believe it!”

That night he slept better than he had in months.

At his trial the following morning he expected the judge to throw the book at him. He did, and sentenced Thad to three years in prison for a third DUI offense. Thad accepted it with calm. He deserved it.

The judge was about to order the deputy to take Thad away when he stopped and cocked his head. To Thad’s complete surprise the judge said, “Strike that. In place of prison time I sentence you to six months community service. You may go.”

Thad thanked the Lord and His watching angels as he walked from the courtroom, truly a free man.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 669 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Noel Mitaxa 
06/12/15
Strong profiling of your MC and his inner struggles with the choice he had to make. Though your story ends positively, it looks like the word limit was putting you under pressure.
Zacharia Fox
06/12/15
I felt his plight! My dad had real problems with substance abuse, and I grappled with a fear of ending up like him. Jesus was my salvation! Thx for this:)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/12/15
You have a wonderful message here, actually a few of them. I especially relate to not being able to do things on our own; we need Jesus' help for sure.

I thought it was slightly weak on topic compared to others I've read, yet it was original and definitely touched on the topic for sure.

I noticed you had a few passive sentences. By rearranging them slightly, not only will you do more showing, but it'll tighten your sentences, allowing for more words in the count. For example this: Somehow he got the car in park and waited.
Could become this:
He parked the car and waited.
Or even this:
With his hands trembling, he jerked the shifter into park and waited.

I also liked the message about drinking and driving and the need to do more than just believe. This is one of those stories where five different people could read it and get five different messages. That's a sure sign of the Holy Spirit working through you. What more could a Christian writer ask for?