The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/09/18
Warmly wistful and very descriptive. Loved the way you wrapped it up.
09/10/18
This was lovely. One thought though re:
"leaving Philomena bereft of his absence". You probably meant bereft of his presence. . .
09/10/18
I could almost see her...

"Philomena’s ringlets of fire framed her freckled face as her huge green eyes searched the open field behind her Mamma’s back."

Beautiful message!

Wing His Words
This story shows how many are waiting for something more. You did a nice job of traveling through the many years of the MC's life. Be careful of subtle POV shifts. You nailed the topic in a great way with a powerful message.
09/12/18
I couldn't help wondering if this MC is someone you knew. A delightful story, so full of longing and joy. Thanks for sharing.