The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/19/15
This is good.

I feel like the ending was a bit rushed. I want to know what happened after that, even if it's just a "Well, that was nice." and she left. It feels a bit unfinished to me.

I liked the repeated line of "I tried that once." It helped bring in your message.
I like this. It has a bit of intrigue and I wanted to see what happened.
Congratulations on ranking 14 overall! Happy Dance!